Parent Resources: 07/01/2009

Sticking With Swimming….What Can a Parent Do?

The Unfortunate Path that Many Swimmers Follow:

The swimmer’s career often starts with 8/under success and high parental enthusiasm. The child is encouraged by parents and others to excel and a big deal is made out of every accomplishment. As the child changes age groups and moves into the 9/10 group, even the most successful child may struggle because he or she has a harder time finding success against 10 year olds. What successes are achieved may not be as noticeable. Unfortunately, as many as one-third of the young swimmers and their families do not make it past this point.

By the time swimmers are10 or 11 years old they (or their parents) may realize that twice a week practices or summer only swimming is not enough to compete with others who are practicing more frequently. Physical ability and natural coordination can still help athlete to stay competitive and have success but it is getting harder to stay on top. More big changes and rude awakenings are lurking in the future.

The first Big Change: From 10/under to 11 & 12

Events become longer going from 25’s and 50's to 50's and 100's and even some 200's and distance freestyle events.
Competition changes from sprint competition to race/pace/competition.
In some programs, one half of the athletes and their families do not make this change. They never give the coaches or the program a chance to help the athlete adapt to the changing nature of swimming competition.

The second Big Change: From age 12 to 13&14/Senior swimming.

Events change again. Now it is all 100's & 200's along with 400/500 and 1000/1650.
The athlete must develop a work ethic and intensify the training aspect of swimming.
Physical changes affect both male and female athletes. Athletes get bigger and stronger, but many, especially the girls, may struggle to cope with their “new bodies.”
This can one of the most rewarding phases of an athlete’s career, yet many will give up.

The third Big Change: A focus on college swimming

Swimmers who remain in the sport start to look at the possibility of swimming in college.
Questions arise concerning the choice of colleges, the level of swimming, the possibilities of scholarships and the willingness to compete and train for another four years.

Let’s put these changes into “real” numbers:

Suppose a team has 12 Novice swimmers.

Only 8 will remain in swimming past the first Big Change
Only 4 will remain in swimming past the second Big Change.
Only 2 will remain in swimming past the third Big Change.

The Role of the Parent in Navigating the Big Changes:

Sometimes, unfortunately, it is the parents who are responsible for their child leaving the sport. For example:

Parents who are former athletes, especially former swimmers, may have unreasonably high expectations.
Parents believe that they are in charge of the athlete’s happiness and that only “winning” can bring happiness.
Parents believe that early success equates with long term success. The 8/under star will, of course, become an Olympian.
Parents may not understand the need for technical and skill development before “swimming fast.”

Parents must examine their own motives. Form a philosophy that emphasizes the process, not the outcome. Be the guides on the “fun path” not the “victory path.” When parents use these words, their emphasis is misplaced:

We - Beat - Win - Fast - Lost - Try - Only – My

What Can Parents Do to Reverse the Trend?

Parents must develop, progress and grow the just as athletes do. Experience is the key and communication is the mode. Swimmers already have coaches, friends and teammates. They need a parent to fill the parental role. “Coaches coach children, parents raise children. “

Here are some of the benefits your child will garner if he or she sticks with swimming:

Life Lessons: Only one swimmer can win the race. Does this mean everyone else is a loser? Of course not! Swimmers need to constantly be reminded that a top-notch effort on their part will result in personal satisfaction and a contribution to their team. Most USA Swimming clubs design a program of competitive training and competition for our younger swimmers based on long term development. Therefore, we may not stress early competitive success with a great deal of fanfare. Remember that swimmers under the age of 12 are very inconsistent which can be frustrating to a parent or to the swimmers themselves. Fun and patience are the keys here.

Leadership: In many cases, our team leaders and successful Senior swimmers were not outstanding age group swimmers. Those who “stick with it” often develop into outstanding leaders, having learned patience, dedication and commitment. Steady progress and understanding the meaning of various accomplishments will make a motivated, well adjusted Senior swimmer.

USA Swimming clubs go to great lengths to provide opportunities for all swimmers equally, although sometimes it may seem that more emphasis and time is spent on Senior swimming. An 8/under will swim no more than 45 minutes two or three times a week, while a Senior swimmer may be in the water 18 hours per week! Both swimmers are having their needs met as part of a long term progression. Understanding the long term benefits and the long term progression will help parents navigate the waters of a swimmer’s career. If you associate “time” with “attention”, the longer a swimmer stays with swimming the more attention he or she will receive.

The Coach Seems Harsh

“My child feels the coach is being excessively harsh on him. What can I, as a parent, do to help?”

Answered by: Coach Maureen Sheehan and Coach Mike Lawrence of the Lake Forest Swim Club, Lake Forest, Illinois.

Three very important relationships influence the success of any young swimmer’s career: The coach-athlete relationship, athlete-parent relationship. In any problem situation, it is crucial to maintain the integrity of all aspects of the parent-coach-athlete relationship. Often it is a breakdown in communication that leads to a problem. Striving to reestablish clear likes of communication is the key to maintaining good relationships and providing opportunities for successful swimming careers.

Parents are the most important role models in a child’s life. The way that a parent handles a difficult situation will serve as a role model for the child. Problems provide opportunities for parents to teach children how to work through difficulties. It is important for a parent not to over react to a situation. If the child sees a lack of respect or support for the coach from his/her most important role model, the child will probably act in a similar fashion. Non-support of a coach as an initial reaction may irreparably damage the coach-athlete relationship.

How do parents show support for both the coach and their child at the same time? Take the role of a listener; the child needs to clearly the situation. This description is how the child feels he/she is being treated but is not necessarily a reflection of the coach’s intent.

Ask your child questions to help him/her think clearly about what actually is the problem. It is important for you to help the child achieve an objective view of the situation. Ask the child why the conflict is a problem and how it can be solved. Give suggestions and guidance but try to let the child solve the problem or conflict without interference.

Parents cannot solve their children’s problems, but they do need to make a limited assessment of the situation that assures the child that mom/dad cares about them. Some very important but difficult learning experience takes place in youth athletic activities. Teaching a child about the relationship with the coach can go a long way towards easing problems in the future. Is the coach trying to encourage or motivate the child rather than pick on him/her? Is there something the child can do differently to encourage the coach to treat him/her in a specific way? What kind of treatment would be viewed as support?

Children need to learn to communicate with their coach at en early age. Encourage the child to ask questions and seek answers. This allows a child to learn about building strong relationships, in this case between the swimmer and the coach. A special meeting between the coach and the swimmer to discuss goals is an excellent step for the swimmer to initiate with the coach. This gives the coach an opportunity to let the athlete know what is expected of him/her and allows him/her to ask the coach for specific forms of support and encouragement. It is a chance for the coach and the athlete to determine a path they are going to take together.

If necessary a parents-coach meeting may be in order. These are best approached as discussions of how the child feels, which helps avoid possible conflicts over what was or was not said or done. Such discussions allow the parents and the coach to work together on a mutual goal!

Some dos and don’ts:

Do’s:

Listen; pay attention to your child’s feelings
Ask questions
Make a limited assessment
Try to help your child to work through this problem
Work to see this problem solved in a positive manner for all involved
Encourage your child to find his/her own answers
Relate this to another area in life to help it be a growing experience
Try to help build a positive image of the coach in the child’s mind
Support the coach
Support the child
Follow-up with your child

Don’t’s:

Overreact
Make this a family crisis or team issue
Create a situation that undermines your child’s respect for the coach.
Deal in comparisons with other swimmers
Limit the coach-athlete relationship for the future

Burnout Or Choice

Coach Garry Nelson of the Plantation Swim Team, in Plantation FL advocates a broader perspective on one of the most common self-criticisms of age group swimming.

The term "burnout" is widely used in the sport of swimming. Many swimmers quit swimming every year. Many coaches and parents believe it is caused by burnout. The Physician and Sportsmedicine in a recent article, described burnout as "loss of energy and enthusiasm for the sport but that it is not caused by anxiety and stress". Sure, all of us have known that certain parent or coach who puts excessive pressure on a child to win or set records. Most of those swimmers quit because they no longer can handle the pressure and need to get out and away from its cause. That is burnout.

At the Plantation Swim Team (Florida), we have approximately 30% to 35% turnover in our membership each year. I would think that our club is very close to the national average (Editor's note: U.S. Swimming Domestic Technical Director Bob Steele cites an average annual turnover of 33% of registered swimmers). People associated with swimming; group all of these swimmers as burnout. In fact, very few of these swimmers are really burnout cases.

There are hundreds of reasons why young people quit swimming. I believe that most swimmers who are no longer swimming quit because they are no longer improving as fast as they used to, and the results are no longer worth the time and commitment. Throughout my coaching experience, I know that I have had my fair share of swimmers leave the sport. Looking back, I can remember very few that I would consider in the burnout category. For example, if a swimmer is very successful as a young swimmer and has achieved success with limited commitment and a modest workload, when the swimmer begins to get older must increase his or her commitment to remain successful. The athlete may not want to put the required time into the sport. At that point they face a choice of working harder, scaling back their goals, or doing something else with their time. But that's not burnout, it is rather a choice.

Not every young person who has left swimming is a burn-out case. Most young people who have left our sport, have simply exercised their freedom of choice.

In conclusion, let's limit our use of the term burnout, which is giving swimming a bad name. Coaches should strive to make their programs more creative and appealing to minimize loss of interest. Parents and coaches should know when to make kids work and when to let them play and not be afraid to have some fun. The next time you use the term burnout to describe a swimmer who has quit the sport, think again. Maybe they didn't burn out; maybe they just chose to stop swimming.

This is another segment of News For SWIM PARENTS
Published by The American Club Swimming Association
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Fort Lauderdale FL 33309

Parents' Endorsement Of Vigorous Team Sports Increases Children's Physical Activity

ScienceDaily (July 9, 2009) — Parents who value strenuous team sports are more likely to influence their children to join a team or at least participate in some kind of exercise, and spend less time in front of the TV or computer, a new study says.

Researchers from Baylor College of Medicine and Duke University studied a sample of 681 parents of 433 fourth- and fifth-graders from 12 schools in Houston. They found that those parents who conveyed the importance of high-intensity team sports to their children had more active children. Both the boys and girls watched less TV and spent less time on their computers.

Endorsing all types of exercise – both team sports and individual sports – increased boys' activity levels but not girls', the study said.

"The difference between activity levels in the girls and boys had to do with the parents' attitudes toward the types of activities. Parents encouraged sons to partake in vigorous- and moderate-intensity team and individual sports, and vigorous-intensity home chores, such as heavy yard work, more than they encouraged these activities for their daughters," said lead author Cheryl Braselton Anderson, PhD. "There still is gender bias on encouraging boys to participate in certain sports and strenuous activities more than girls."

Vigorous team sports included basketball and soccer, and moderate team sports included baseball/softball, volleyball and football. Intense individual activity included running, cycling, swimming and skating, and moderate individual activity included walking, biking around the neighborhood and golf.

Household chores were also included as a form of physical activity. Vigorous household chores included heavy yard work and moving furniture; moderate household chores included cleaning, raking leaves, weeding and carrying groceries.

Parents' attitudes toward household chores had unexpected influences on children's attitudes and activity levels, the researchers said. "Cleaning house and doing laundry was associated with a decrease in boys' sport team participation and more TV watching," Anderson said. "Right now, we do not know why, but it could be that active boys spend less time inside and more time outside, so staying inside may detract from outdoor activity with friends. Boys shared their parents' attitude about the importance of vigorous household activities (yard work, moving), whereas girls did not. Parents did not believe girls should do these activities, but girls did not agree."

Demographic and ethnic factors also played a role in attitudes toward physical activity, both in sports and chores. Hispanic parents did not value strenuous household chores for children of either sex. Families with more children valued chores more, and families with more education (and money to pay for housekeeping and yard work) valued them less, the study found.

Hispanic parents encouraged their sons to play vigorous team and individual sports but did not encourage their daughters, Anderson said. African-American girls, but not boys, placed less value on exercise that required light to moderate effort, like riding their bikes, and both African-American girls and boys watched more TV.

More educated parents placed higher value on both vigorous- and moderate-intensity individual or team sports for boys but did not place as high a value for girls, Anderson said. And having more children in the family influenced whether the parents valued sports for girls: More children led to more interest in the girls' being active.

"Playing team sports, especially the more strenuous ones, really makes a difference in decreasing both boys' and girls' media use and making them more active," Anderson said. "It is a good idea for parents to adopt a positive attitude toward all types of vigorous physical activities for boys and girls and know that girls can and want to do them."

Are All Efforts Good Efforts?

Concern: My 12 year old is a good swimmer who regularly places in the final 8 in several events at swim meets. The coach, however, is sometimes unsatisfied with my child's performance. I believe that all my son's efforts are good efforts, regardless of time or place. The coach should not be unsatisfied.

Response: Congratulations! You're right on! Your approach is outstanding for a parent. Why "for a parent"? Because the parental role is different from the coaching role in swimming. You are doing a perfect job of parenting -- unqualified support for your child's efforts. That is exactly as it should be, and your child should feel loved and respected for his efforts.

The coach, however, has a different role. The coach role is that of the technical evaluator. That is a role that a parents cannot, and should not play. As a technical evaluator, it is important that the coach never appear to be "satisfied" with a swim. The coach will typically make a "sandwich' of their comments. For example:

"John, that was a good swim, I really liked your turns, and the streamlining out of them. You were kind of slow on the 2nd and 3rd splits, then you did a good job of bringing it home."

Positive comment, correction, positive comment. Sometimes, it might be two corrections sandwiched around a compliment. In any case, this is the function of the coach. Your coach probably recognizes that you are already doing a good job reinforcing the positive things that are happening for your child, and feels free to evaluate the swim quite honestly.

You want the coach to do this evaluation because it tells the child that there is more that can be done to improve. What would be the purpose of telling someone, "John, that was perfect swim!" Perfect means there can be no more improvement!

The only problem I can see here is if the child is perceiving the post-race comments as negative only. If this is the case, the coach and athlete need to sit down and understand mutually what the purpose of pre and post race comments is.

Congratulations on your approach, its terrific!