Parents' Commitment

Posted by Glenn Mills on Apr 17, 2003 07:10AM (2,136 views)

I recently had a chance to talk with an old coaching friend. He expressed frustration with the level of commitment on his team - missed practices, lack of motivation during training, unwillingness to give up leisure activities to spend more time training. There once was a time when I believed a swimmer's success depended solely on the swimmer's level of commitment. During our conversation, however, my friend and I both realized that it's not so much the swimmer as the parent who determines the level of commitment - and thus has a tremendous impact on the success of the athlete. It's taken some soul searching (and maybe the fact that I'm the father of ten-year-old twins) for me to change my thinking.

When I was a young age-group swimmer, my Dad would wake me up each morning, rain or shine, with singing. I'd struggle out of bed at 5:00 am, drag my feet down the hallway to the kitchen, and there would be my Dad, waiting for me with a big smile and a hot bowl of oatmeal. He would already have his things gathered up for work, and he would already have my books and papers gathered up for school, so all we had to do was eat, get in the car, and drive to morning practice. After school, my Mom would pick me up and take me to high-school swim practice, then drive me to the Nautilus Club to lift weights until it was time for her to drive me to my USS (it was called AAU back then) practice at night. Three swim practices and a weight-room session, and this was BEFORE my serious training in Cincinnati started. This schedule was BEFORE my Mom and I got a townhouse in Cincinnati, and my Dad drove down from Cleveland, 275 miles each way, every weekend for the final two years of my high-school career, so that I could train with a better team. THAT was commitment. I can see that now, as a parent. At the time, however, I thought the commitment came from me. I was, after all, the one who was doing all the laps. I was, after all, the one who had declared, after watching David Wilke take the podium after winning the 200 Breast at the 1976 Olympics, "I'm going to do that some day."

My Mom just happens to be visiting right now, and through conversations about her and Dad, I'm starting to realize something. The real commitment came from them. It's just that, as a kid, I got used to having the world revolve around ME. I think it's called an Id thing. And I think I didn't start to get over it until I became a parent. Even now, there are huge lapses in my ability to see beyond my own needs and my own person. Although my kids are only 10, I find myself not nearly so excited as I should be when it's time to take them to lacrosse, softball, soccer, basketball, music class, Spanish class, and the occasional swim lesson (by me, of course). I get a flow of work going, then here they come again. Can I help with their homework? You've got a project due WHEN??? (Usually tomorrow.) There's a field trip, Dad, can you go? Dad, can so-and-so come over? The schedules, the travel, the juggling seem like they'll never end.

People ask me why I don't compete in Masters swimming. I can come up with many excuses, but the truth is that there just isn't time for me to compete. My weekends are usually filled with basketball, lacrosse, softball, soccer, running races, or - finally - just a weekend off. For me to consider missing even one of my son's running races, or even one of my daughter's basketball games - for a Masters swim meet - is just plain silly. I swam for almost 20 years as a competitor. I had my time. My parents sacrificed for me, and I'll do the same for my kids. After all, don't I owe them that?

What I'm trying to say is that so many of us talk a good game. I'll be the first to admit I'm not perfect, but there are others who are guilty as well, so I'm not in this alone. We talk about how hard we worked as kids. How tough it was for us. Then, when we really think about it, and open our eyes, we realize we weren't in it alone. Our parents (or some other mentoring adult) were there with us. I remember how hard it was training my last two years of high school. We swam 20,000 meters a day, six days a week. I was always sore, always tired, always grumpy. If my dinner wasn't ready when I walked in, well, then - my Mom heard about it. How dare she make me wait? Didn't she know what I was going through? Parents just don't understand, I would think.

Only now, as a parent of 10-year-old twins, do I begin to realize that for kids to succeed in sports, the true commitment has to come from the parents. I realize that all kids are a bit selfish - that's just the way it is. Their world is still so small, and still revolves ONLY around them. I know there was some psychologist who came up with a theory about this a long time ago, but it always takes me a while to catch on. As parents, we have to understand that the world doesn't revolve around us, and we have to show our commitment to our children. Teach them to follow through on commitments they've made. If they've joined a team, and have agreed to be part of a certain training group, then they must live up to the commitment level of that group. This is something that should be agreed on by the coach, swimmer, and parent. Especially if the parent will be the one responsible for getting that athlete to the venue. If the parent cannot live up to the level of commitment needed for their child to stay within a particular group, then the child shouldn't be placed IN that group. You can see how this looks to the coach. A 13-year-old swimmer misses 2 out of 6 practices for the week, and the coach assumes the level of commitment from the kid just isn't there. But perhaps the truth is that the commitment of the parent just isn't there. How is a 13-year-old supposed to GET to the pool? The parent. Whether it's making arrangements for rides, or taking them even when they have something else they'd rather do, the parent has to step up. Or - move the swimmer to a group with a lower level of commitment.

I used to have goal meetings with my swimmers at the beginning of each season. I asked them to commit to a number of practices. Then I held them to their commitment. As a coach, it's wrong for me to project my level of commitment onto them. I'll be there every day. That's my job. And it's my job to inspire them to want to be there, practice after practice. But I can't determine or dictate their level of commitment. What I realize now is that I probably should have had each swimmer's parents at the same goal-setting meeting - or advised parents and swimmer to talk things over together before they met with me. Kids can have one level of commitment, but if their parents aren't on the same wavelength, then everyone - swimmer, parents, and coach - will be frustrated when expectations and goals aren't met.

Because most age-group swimmers need their parents to get them to and from the pool, parent's need to become an integral part of each season's goal planning. The parents can help in determining the initial level of commitment, and then hold the swimmer to that level for the set period of time. In other words, if the coach, swimmer, and parent all agree on the level of commitment, the parent becomes the cog. The parent will ultimately be the one who determines whether or not that child makes it to practice. The parent will determine what is more important on that day - the test coming up in school for which the swimmer is unprepared, the party that the parent wants to attend that night, or swim practice.

Simply put to the parents who read this: The FIRST person to consult when setting the "level of commitment" is the swimmer. If he or she desires MORE, then try to give them more. Once the question of the swimmer's intentions are answered, then talk to the coach about how to best serve this level of commitment. Then look inside yourself and be honest about your level of commitment. Can you follow through? If not, then be honest about it, and either find a way to solve the issue, or start over with the swimmer and the coach, and figure out the next best scenario. We all start out with a "wish list" and work back from there. Swimming is no different.

I'll give one illustration from a coach's viewpoint. Many years ago I had a swimmer who just missed qualifying for a championship meet while other team members made it. This swimmer spoke of his determination to qualify for that meet the next year. I discussed with the swimmer the exact training regimen that the other team members had used and showed this swimmer what it would take to guarantee success. (Sure, I was going out on a limb, but it also puts pressure on me as a coach.) The swimmer agreed, and we started planning the training routine. Within 30 minutes, I was met with, "Well, I can't make that. I'm going on vacation." I quickly said, and I remember this distinctly, "Then you really don't want to qualify for that meet." The look of shock on the swimmer's face was something I'll never forget. How could I question his level of commitment? I had just explained that commitment is about choices. The athlete had the choice to commit fully, or partially. Really long story short... the swimmer didn't live up to the reality of the commitment, and didn't qualify for the meet. But from what I heard, the vacation was wonderful. End result: The swimmer was sad, the coach was sad, the parents were sad. All could have been avoided had the swimmer's wish or goal not exceeded the level of commitment needed to achieve that wish.

So, we all have a lot of work to do for our children. As parents, get involved and understand it is YOU who allows for the follow through on the level of commitment our children want to give. It is YOU who must hold them to that level of commitment. Even if their level of commitment varies throughout the season (you'll see it drop during really hard training sessions, and rise way up during taper), you must hold them to their commitment. If you can do this, everyone will be happier at the end of the season, knowing that they gave their best effort. Good luck to everyone - swimmers, parents, and coaches.

Parents’ Commitment – Originally published www.goswim.tv

On Praising Your Children

News For SWIM  PARENTS Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association

How often do you think about the amount of and type of praise you offer your child?  The wrong kind of praise, or praise used too frequently or infrequently can cause difficulties.  Sometimes we think that it is not possible to over praise a child because constant praise will build a child's self esteem.  However, there is a real world for the child outside of the home and a child's peers may not always be as praise giving as his or her parents.  Other children are usually quite truthful and blunt about the feats of their peers.  A child constantly praised at home may feel themselves placed on a pedestal only to be knocked off outside the home. 

In a recent article in "Parents Magazine", educational consultant Fredelle Maynard listed the dos and don'ts of praise.  First the don'ts:  [We’ve added swimming appropriate examples.]

• Don't praise by comparison ("You're the best swimmer on the team").  It may encourage unnecessary competition or fear of failing next time.

• Don't praise constantly.  If everything a child does is terrific, wonderful, the best, you will run out of superlatives and the child will become blasé about applause.

• Don't praise indiscriminately.  Children who are veteran meet swimmers know when a swim is good or bad.  Parental ecstasies over mediocre performance can either make children cynical or cause them to feel like frauds.

• Don't praise so extravagantly that children feel pressure to go on shining.  Over enthusiastic applause destroys a good motive for activity (to please oneself) and substitutes a poor one (to please parents).

• Don't use sarcastic or "backhanded" praise.  "Well, you did all flip turns for a change."  "You touched with two hands!  I can't believe it."

The best praise to use is encouragement.  Encouragement helps build a child's confidence and autonomy while improper praise can be more manipulative, emphasizing what the adult wants.  Encouragement allows the child to "own" their accomplishments and to find within themselves the strength and desire to do their best.  The following are Maynard's dos:

• Do be specific.  Instead of using words that evaluate ("What a great swim"), describe in concrete terms what you see:  "You kept your elbows nice and high during that swim."

• Do describe the behavior and its consequences.  For example, "Thanks for getting dressed and out of the locker room so quickly.  Now we have more time to go shopping for the new goggles you need."

• Do focus on the child's effort, not the product.  "You practiced hard for this swim meet and it really paid off."

• Do point out how your child has progressed.  "A 200 IM! You couldn't have done that last year!"

• Do give control back to the child.  Let the child do the evaluating.  Rather than say, "I'm so proud of you," say, "You must feel good that you did all backstroke turns."  Try simply asking, “How do you feel about your swim?” and respond accordingly – giving encouragement when they feel disappointed (but never false praise), and joining them in their enthusiasm if they feel really happy.

Consider giving praise at different levels.  “That looked like a better swim.”  “I thought that was a good job, what do you think?”  “That was your best job so far!”  Better, good, best.  Avoid over using such superlatives as “Perfect,” “Great,” “Excellent” which leave little room for improvement.

To sum it all up, catch them doing things right and set them up for continued improvements.

Which Events Should Your Child Swim?

News For SWIM  PARENTS Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association

Issue:  My 12 year old will be aging up before the end of the season and she needs every opportunity to make AAA times in her best events before then.  The coach, however, seems to have different ideas about the meets we attend and the events she swims.  I do not like the way the coach selects my child's meet and event schedule.

Response:  Rule number one for any concern regarding decisions made by the coach is to communicate directly with the coach at your earliest opportunity.  The coach may mention one or more of the following considerations:

1. Age group swimmers should have an opportunity to experience all the official events for their age group.  In fact, many coaches would make a case for having intermediate to advanced age group swimmers also swim 200's of back, breast, and fly, as well as the 400 IM and distance freestyles.  BUT, there needs to be a balance found between the time and expense of driving to too many meets versus the larger objectives of a good age group program.  See numbers 2, 3, and 4 below.

2. Achievement should be viewed as career long and not dependent on a mid-season peak in coordination with a last meet effort before aging up.  A major push at end of an age group often leads to a letdown than can occur when the child ages up.  This discourages the steady and consistent progress that most coaches encourage in age group swimming.   Coaches plan careers around seasonal planning, not around birthdays.  The primary focus should be on preparing swimmers for the senior team and a secondary focus would be on end of season meets.

3. A combined and unified team effort for end of the season meets is more important than allowing individual swimmers to "peak" for mid-season meets in order to achieve time standards or rankings.

4. The coach is the technical expert of the team and the one with the best perspective for event selection.  Event selection often times deliberately includes the swimmer’s weakest events as a challenge, as an evaluation tool, as a change of focus, and/or as preparation for future events.   Frankly, parents and age group swimmers will not often choose events that offer difficult challenges, change the points of focus, or prepare the swimmer in a tactical way for future events.  This is a technical matter and best left to the technical expert – the coach.

Here are a few examples:  Distance oriented swimmers may be asked to swim sprint events in order to work on their speed.  (If the swimmer’s best time in the 100 meter free is 1:13 and they are trying to break 5 minutes in the 400 meter swim then they need the ability to go in 1:13 to 1:14 in the 400 and swimming the 100 gives them a chance to work on their “going out speed.”)

A swimmer who has been a good butterflyer for the last couple of years and has begun to be identified as a “flyer” by herself and friends and possibly parents, but then finds herself having difficulty improving in the fly events – perhaps due to changes in her body as she matures -- can find new motivation in the other events if given a chance to focus on something different.

One of the great core values of swimming is learning to meet difficult challenges with determination for success.  A good coach may deliberately schedule every 11 and 12 year old for the 200 meter butterfly in an upcoming meet and then prepare them for it physically and mentally in practice so that they may face the challenge with some courage.  It’s a great confidence builder.

…And building confidence comes not only from doing what one is good at, but from doing the uncomfortable and difficult.

Because They MUST Fail

News For SWIM  PARENTS Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association

By, Rick Boucher

Head Age Group Coach STAR Swimming (UB Amherst Site) Amherst, NY

With fifteen years of coaching in this sport of swimming, I have come to notice a few things that happen on each and every team I have ever worked with.  Parents and swimmers, regardless of their location in this country, have similar issues at specific points of their swimming careers.  I would love to address the “First Swim Meet” issue.

The “First Swim Meet” issue has been addressed on every team I have ever coached.  Swimmers and parents are uncomfortable when it comes to attempting their first swim meet.  It is an unknown for both of them.  Children tend to be so upset at the thought of having to compete, that they somehow convince their parents that they should not, or can not be competing at their level.  What do I think?  Attend the first swim meet offered to your child regardless of how you feel about your child’s ability and how they feel about competing.

Here’s why…Every person MUST FAIL in order to become better!  Think about this for a moment.  Would you be where you are today in your career if you would have only succeeded?  I know that I would not.  Some of my greatest professional successes have come through having what I would consider a “horrible season”.

Children are afraid of swim meets because they are “scary”.  A new swimmer knows they are not going to win.  They know that they may get disqualified.  They understand that it is going to be hard work.  They become overwhelmed with the anxiety of having to step out of their “comfort zone” and actually challenge themselves to a level they never have before.  PERFECT!  This is what it takes to become an outstanding individual.  Not just in swimming, but in life.

A ten year old child knows very little about trial and error.  They understand the school system and its grading process, but outside of this, children have had very little trial and error elsewhere.  If they have played in a “team sport”, then they have been judged on a “team level” and not as an “individual”.  Being ranked as an individual is “scary.”

In basketball, if you don’t get the ball at a time when you can shoot, then it’s not your fault you didn’t score a point.  In football, if you do your part on the field as a linesman and the quarterback’s passing is off, then it’s not your fault.  There are so many other avenues to place blame and accept the defeat in a form that allows you to continue telling yourself that you played a great game.  In swimming, there are none.  It is all up to them.  They are the ones who either make or break their performance.

This is to me, the most perfect part of the sport.  It makes young athletes look at their performance at practice and reconsider if they are doing everything they can in order to become better.  Swimming encourages young children and young adults to actually look at themselves and re-evaluate themselves.  How wonderful is that?  It’s also wonderful to hear from a child that they plan on listening better at practice because they really want to learn more about a specific stroke or race.

Failure….

• Leads strong-minded children into their success.
• Upsets them enough to make them take control of their own actions.

In swimming there are no guarantees.  No coach can look at an athlete and say “You know what?  You’re going to become a state record holder”, or “Pack your bags kiddo, ‘cause in four more years I know you’re heading to the Olympics”.  Trust me, after all of the years I’ve placed into this sport, I wish I could do this.  It would make life so much easier for myself, parents, and athletes.

What a coach can promise is that through hard work, dedication, commitment, perseverance and FAILING, your child can become a person who understands more about themselves than most individuals their age.

It’s taken me a long time to realize that one of the key ingredients to all of my past athletes reaching their potential is failure.  All of them have failed more than they succeeded.  Some failures were large, other were minor.  Most children will fail, learn from their mistakes, and fail again, but with fewer mistakes and so on.  The reducing of failures is their improvement, dedication, and perseverance.  They should be praised for their efforts and encouraged to continue on their quest.

That’s what a coach does, they encourage young, learning athletes to strive for more and always push themselves.  It is a coach’s job and duty to keep these children understanding why we strive and how great it feels to achieve.

So here’s what I have to say…

Let your child fail.  Don’t encourage “failure,” but understand it.  Understand that failing is a process that is needed in order to succeed.  Encourage your child to step out from their “comfort zone” and challenge themselves to a level that they may not think they can attain.  Why?  Because once they push themselves to that new level, they may realize that they are much faster, stronger, and just plain old better they ever thought they could be.

Parents should…

• Assist the coach in getting all that they can from their young athlete and properly challenging their child.
• Realize that their children are afraid.  It’s nerve-racking to try something new and have so many eyes on you.
• Comfort their children and continually reinforce the fact that “effort” is to be praised and that “failure” is part of the process of becoming great.
• Get their children involved.  Drive them to the swim meet.  Be their biggest cheerleader.  Make sure you love them regardless of what place they take in their events.
• Reinforce the fact that doing something that they’ve never done before is wonderful and the chance they have been given to challenge themselves is a blessing in disguise.

Two Paths to Success?

Posted by Glenn Mills on Sep 17, 2010 01:34PM (0 views)

So here's the scenario.  You have an 8-year-old swimmer and, like most 8-year olds, he/she is pretty new to the sport (even 8-year olds who've been swimming for a while are NEW to the sport).  You have a decision to make... which path to go down for their future?

With every goal that we set in life, there are various paths we can take to reach those goals.  Deciding which path to take can be a tricky decision, especially if you already believe that one particular way is the right way.  These decisions never come without some sort of tentativeness, but once you've chosen that path, I understand how tough it is to vary from it.  Part of achieving a goal is sticking directly to that goal, and not wavering.

With that said, when we're talking youth athletics, there is nothing more import than "skill development."  But for some reason, swimming seems to be one of those sports where there's a belief that young swimmers should be trained in the same way as older swimmers.   There's a notion that work is measured by the time, or distance someone swims, rather than by how the skill is performed.  Look at other sports, specially martial arts, which encompass some of the oldest and most respected disciplines across the globe.  Every martial art is taught as a step-by-step progression of skill development.   Teaching takes a very logical approach to what comes first, and what comes last.  I've written about this many times before, but it bears repeating, just as many things regarding swim technique are worth repeating to the swimmer. 

There is skill development in baseball.  First comes tee-ball, then softball, then fast-pitch softball, moving up the ranks to fast-pitch hardball.  It would be silly to train an 8-year-old as if the youngster is a major leaguer, working on power and speed before setting up "how to hold the bat" or "how to throw the ball."  Such training would ultimately leave that little athlete with no real future in baseball.  There is simply skill development in EVERYTHING in life we do, and to rush into training prior to acquisition or "ownership" of some sort of competency prior to gaining an understanding and grasp of the skills required to achieve one's potential, is simply rushing to failure.

There is always a lifespan with any athlete, and the toughest part about reaching "retirement" rather than "quitting" is pacing the progress.  Within that lifespan, with these two simple paths taken into consideration, skill development or yardage, there is limited time for one of these.  Just like teaching a youngster a new language, it's widely accepted that the earlier multiple languages are incorporated into the everyday scheme, the easier it will be to make it instinctual.  With that same thought process, skill development has a much more limited time frame in the lifespan of an athlete.  If you don't learn the proper skills early enough, as you get older, the demands of training (yardage and fitness) become much greater, and you've more than likely already imprinted so many habits in your swimming that these habits will be tough to break.  Don't believe me?  Ask any triathlete who's having a difficult time with the swim.  They're usually very good athletes; they've just never learned the skill set for swimming.

There is always time to get in "shape."    If you're committed, it doesn't take long at all.  Heck, we all know swimming is pretty much the best exercise out there, so doing it with the sole purpose of getting in shape is simple.  That means the lifespan of "fitness" is MUCH longer than the "lifespan" of skill acquisition. 

If you're the parent of a young swimmer, please don't mistake skill development for easy swimming.  Skill development takes much more focus, concentration, and the demands of placing your arms, legs, head, and torso in JUST the right position, that fitness occurs while learning is taking place.  It's actually easier to hammer back and forth with no thought of why, than it is to swim with perfect form.

Of the two paths, skill development and yardage (fitness), which do you think goes away the quickest?  Do you LOSE skill once you've gained it?  Do you LOSE fitness when you stop swimming?  Take a look at some of the former Olympians coming out of retirement, playing around with swimming, still a bit chubby, but going VERY fast.  They learned the skills, and they never went away.  Heck, look at Amanda Beard... retired, married, child, back in the water for 9 months... PAN PAC TEAM!  She owns the skill.  It never went away.

Ask yourself an honest question if you're a parent.  What gift do you want to give your young swimmer?  Do you want an 8-year old with the body of Adonis (it will never happen naturally) that will vanish the second he/she stops training?   Or do you want an 8-year old with skills that will last a lifetime, and who has the option of acquiring fitness whenever his/her body is truly ready to achieve something of great athletic accomplishment?

One final thought, which has always been a theory that no one, including me, has been brave enough to test.

• Take two identical twin boys (or girls... makes no difference).  
  At 8 years old, give one of them 9 practices a week of 5,000 meters.  Give the other one 6 practices a week of about 2,500 meters with a huge focus on skill development.  At age 8, who wins?  Obviously, the kid training 9 times a week.
• At 9 years old, give the first child 10 practices a week of 5,000 meters. Give the other one 6 practices a week of about 2,500 meters with a huge focus on skill development.  At 9, who wins?  Again, obviously, the kid training 10 times per week.
• At 10 years old, now we move to elite-level training.  The first child ramps to 10 times a week of 5,000 meters.  The other moves to 6 practices a week of about 2,500 meters with a huge focus on skill development.  The trainer is still winning, but the gap will be closing.
• We can extend this to age 11 or 12, and the swimmer who was focused on training has now hit the ceiling of training.  There's simply a limit to how many workouts, and how far, one can swim.  The other swimmer is going to improve because of one, simple, frequently overlooked component.  MATURATION!
• When those twins are 13-14-15 years old, you are left with 2 athletes.  One is extremely tired, verging on burnout, frustrated by infrequent best times, and struggling to juggle his/her heavy training schedule with school, home, and social activities.   The other child continues to improve because he/she kept getting bigger.   Because of the improvement, the athlete may request more training sessions... just as their body is reaching a point where they're strong enough to take advantage of all that incredible skill they've HONED over the past 5 years.

One of these swimmers is now a black-belt of technique.  The other is a street brawler.  Who will still be swimming at 18?

This isn't to paint a picture of desperation for trainers... a few have actually made it to be very good swimmers.   Among Olympians, however (and I know quite a few), the 2nd story is much more typical than the first.  We all loved to swim, we all had had technique driven into us and, when the training came, we didn't like it, but we were ready for it and knew what we had to do. 

Here's my personal simple, simple, simple philosophy to give someone the opportunity to be great:
Teach before train, but once they've learned the skills... TRAIN, and train HARD.

Don't rush the process. REAL training for swimming is a brutal process.  As many people say... been there... done that.  :)

When Sally Swims Poorly…

How Mom and Dad Might Talk To Their Child at a Swim Meet

By John Leonard

Swim Meet conversation between parent and athlete can be either highly productive, or highly counter-productive.  Your goal as a parent should be to contribute to a positive swim meet experience for your child.  This is the same goal as shared by the coach and the athlete.  It is important that all three sides of the triangle be working together on meet days, as well as the rest of the swim year.

As I travel the country talking to parents, and observing swim meets and the effects of individual athletes, a few things stand out for comment.  The inter-relationship of athlete, coach and parent on the days of swim meets is one of the most important.  To discuss this adequately, it is necessary to define the role of each person.

The athlete attends the meet to attempt to gain or affirm some progress that has been made in their development.  This may take the form of a personal best time, or holding a stroke technique together for an entire race, or executing accurately a particular strategy for  "splitting" the race, or any of a multitude of other possibilities and combinations.  The role of the athlete is the active one.  It is up to them to perform, and the meet day is a selected time to perform the experiment.

The role of the coach on meet day needs to be thoroughly understood. It is dependent upon how the coach  has presented themselves in the athlete's swimming career.  Primarily, for most coaches, they are the technical resource that a swimmer depends upon to help them improve.  They also serve as a role model, and to a greater or lesser extent, as a motivator, friend, and co-author of the strategy or experiment being performed on that day.

The parent is the racing "support crew".  The parent makes sure they have all their human needs attended to, and continues their parental function of supervising personal development.  Their love, attention, and caring are key ingredients in creating a successful experience on race day.

Athlete, technical support, and human support. That's all it takes.

Now, back to the question of meet conversation. Lots of talk goes on at a meet, and coming and going around the meet. Let's focus on the conversations that go on around a particular swim, and see what can be learned from that item.

Sally is eleven years old, and she is about to swim the 100 yard freestyle. Sally is a pretty good little swimmer, and has a best time of 1:01.3.  She'd like to go a personal best time in this event at the meet, and she and her coach have been talking all week about how Sally has to concentrate on keeping her stroke long and strong during the last 25 yards of her race.  Sally knows she is supposed to stop and talk to Coach before she swims so she goes over to see her.

"Hey Kiddo, ready for the big swim?"

"Coach, I got it all under control, and I'm ready to go fast."

"What do you need to remember on this swim?"

"To keep my stroke long on the last twenty-five."

"Not just long, but...."

"long and Strong!"

"Right!  Have a real good swim.  Now, go get it!"

Sally blasts off, and gets out in front immediately.  Mom and Dad cheer like crazy.  Sally turns for home, and......  

(Now, at this point let's consider two endings.  We will take a look at each one.)

Sally turns for home and...... shortens her stroke bit by bit as she gets more and more tired, and struggles to the wall, with a time of 1:01.5.

Sally is disappointed, and she goes back to her coach choking back tears, and stands there, waiting for her to speak.

"Well, not quite what we wanted. How did it feel?"

"It felt awful! I was terrible! I couldn't do anything!"

"From here, it looked like you were only pushing through to your waist, and towards the end of the race maybe not even that far.  Where should your hand finish?"

"At my suit line."

"And what did your arms really feel like?"

"I got all hot and my arms were burning at the end of the race."

"Do you know why that is?  I think you haven't had enough good fast pace work yet.  Next month, we'll work on that, and by the next meet you'll be much better!"

Sally leaves happy and feeling much less like the Ugly Duckling. Now, she heads to see Mom and Dad.

Most parents I talk to think that this is a tough time to deal with their children.  It isn't!  (The tough one is next.)  All Mom and Dad have to do in this case, is two simple things:

First, deal with human things.

"Are you warm enough, honey?"

"Put on your warm-ups, and your towel"

"Do you need something to drink?"

Then, if all is well, STOP.  Do not get into the race unless the child wants to.  That is not your role. You are there to support.

But let’s say that Sally comes back and says....

"I Stunk!"

Mom and Dad say, "Stunk?  Stunk means you smelled badly.  All that chlorine is kind of nasty, but I wouldn't say you stunk.  What do you really mean?"

After Sally has a chance to get rid of her emotional response, you should ask, "What did Coach say?"

Now is a good time to explore this.  What you are trying to do, as a parent, is duplicate the same mind-set the coach is trying to re-instill.  Analyze what went wrong with the experiment.  You don't have the technical expertise to offer the answers that her coach does, but by asking questions that require a technical response, you shift Sally out of the emotional context.  This is nothing more than an experiment that did not turn out the way Sally and her coach wanted it to.  This is perfect swim parenting.  You reinforce the message that the coach is sending.

If you will simply take care of the human needs, and shift the emotional disappointment to an analytical response, all will be well in Sally's world.

Handling Disappointment from the Parent’s Side

One of the absolute toughest roles in the sporting experience is that of being an athlete’s parent. For the most part a parent wants only success for his/her daughter/son. The role the parent plays changes as the athlete gets older and more experienced. Imagine Michael Phelps’s Mom’s role over the years. As a swim parent you go through several levels as the swimmer grows up both chronologically and experience wise.

An 8 year old needs to be transported to practice even encouraged to go on many days. They need suits and goggles picked out and purchased. Events at meets need to be chosen and then entered (and paid for). Driving to the meet, feeding, handling the towels and all the logistics fall in your lap. In many ways all the 8 year old does is swim the race and you as parent pretty much do all the rest. The coach plays a role here but in reality probably much less of a role than she/he thinks. The overall focus here is FUN. Make swimming and racing fun and the little ones will keep coming back for more.

If a swim doesn’t turn out exactly how the swimmer wanted it to (and keep in mind that many of them have no real idea how they want it to turn out) as a parent you MUST hide your disappointment. Remind the swimmer they have lots more races and things will change for the better. For the young ones this is true beyond a doubt.
As the swimmer gets older they can start to connect the dots between effort put in to practice and results achieved in meets. They can begin to pick events they choose – not the ones you have chosen for them…remember they do the swimming. If you really think they should swim a 500 but they prefer the 100 perhaps you need to join a Masters team and enter a 500, you know, to sort of get it out of your system☺.

And remember, as they get older and start to distance themselves from you, you must still hide your disappointment when they do not perform up to their and or your levels of expectation.

Trust us on this one point if on no other. No matter what your relationship is with your swimmer, as a parent they so much want your approval, especially when things are going tough for them; and every swimmer on the planet has down cycles. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team as a sophomore. As a pro, he was trusted to take the game winning shot and failed 26 times in his career. He got over it. Your swimmer will get over his/her slow swim; they may never get over the look of disappointment on your face after a tough race. Show and give love and support and you will win another day, sooner than later. You MUST hide your disappointment.

Not long ago we were coaching at the local Junior Olympic long course meet. We observed a young man in the 15-16 age group racing the 1500 meter swim. His Dad was counting for him. After about 300 meters it was obvious – at least to the Dad by his body language – the swim was not going particularly well. At about 600 meters the volume in the Dad’s voice came up 20 or so decibels and had a decidedly critical tone to it. As the swimmer came into the turn Dad was furiously shaking the counter up and down and yelling “Kick harder, come on kick harder”. We wondered if the swimmer could read the counter since it was moving up and down pretty fast. We wondered if the swimmer could actually hear the words the Dad was yelling. We think there is a difference between a loud voice exhorting a swimmer on to glory and a loud voice yelling “commands”.

When the race concluded the Dad walked away from the end of the pool, heading down to the finish end, his head hung down dejectedly muttering to himself. One could only imagine the scene that was to become the swimmer’s next life’s chapter. The ride home gave us pause to think.

Swimming is important to our kids especially as they get older. As one gets closer to 0:00.00 the time reductions become more challenging to achieve. Olympians often go years without improving a time, rather they look for improvement in how well they swim, not merely how fast.

Our sport offers a refreshing respite from subjectivity. No one cares how good you look (though every coach worth her/his salt cares about how good you look in the water!!) they just hand out the medals based upon how fast you swam relative to the rest of the competition. And at the end of the day as a parent it is your responsibility to reward your swimmer’s effort based upon their level of accomplishment in the big view, not merely upon time. There are many swimmers who have posted a very fast time and yet the swim was not done correctly. Conversely, we have seen many excellent swims where the time was not a personal best but there was a lot to be excited about of which to be proud.

As Helen Swartz said many times in the last few months of her glorious life, “I think it is important for each of us to do the very best we can. And only we know if we are doing our best.” As most of you know, Mom’s often have the final word!

Posted by Don Swartz & Ken DeMont at 9:21 PM 0 comments Links to this post

When a Child Starts on The Swim Team as a Teenager

News For SWIM  PARENTS Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association

“My 13 Year Old Son Has Just Started Swimming Competitively. What Are His Chances Of Succeeding Having Begun At Relatively Late Age For A Swimmer?”

Answered by: George Block, Aquatic Director of the Northside Independent School District, San Antonio, Texas.

The word “chance” reflects the disparity between possibility and probability. There is a long history of late beginning male swimmers doing very well, from George Breen to Rowdy Gaines, but the “possibility” doesn’t matter. We’re talking about your son.

First of all, he has to have certain basic physical abilities. Can he float with his lungs inflated? Can he streamline and glide when he pushes off the wall? Does he have normal strength and flexibility? Is he in good health?

You also have to find if he has some basic psychological abilities. Is he attentive? Is he a good listener? Does he follow instructions well? Will he persevere?

A little higher up the ladder, I would consider his athletic background, his extracurricular activities and his academic performance.

After this evaluation, the parent needs to work very closely with the child’s coach. The coach can tell you if your son has “talent”. Does he have the “feel” of the water? Does he learn quickly?

Finally, you must look at the team and the environment. Are swimmers performing well on the local level? The state level? Are they doing well at the Junior Nationals? Senior Nationals?

None of those things can explain the short, uncoordinated kids who try out as freshmen in high school and go on to become superstars in college. That is explained by perseverance. Coaches see perseverance beat talent every day. Perseverance in its most tangible form is “being there” and it is what changes the odds from possible to probable.

In swimmers who take up the sport “late”, the effects of training are always more “acute” (short term) than “chronic” (long term). Since your son won’t have the chronic training history of some of his teammates, he will need to train more effectively, have better attendance, and learn more from each competition than they do.

This may seem like a full order, but actually it’s great opportunity. In the long haul, the “process” is more important than “the product”. If your son decides to commit himself to excellence in competitive swimming, he will have taken a major step out of the crowd that seeks only mediocrity. He will be one of the few “committed” in an age of “dilettantes”. He will have to plan, organize and work for long term goals. He will have to arrange for the cooperation of those around him; parents, siblings, coaches, teammates, teachers, and friends. He will also have to measure his own success. Yes, your son can be successful, and, yes it will be difficult…but that is what makes it worth doing.

A Father's Example

Monday, March 1, 2010

Last week, I was struck by the brilliance of American speedskater Apollo Ohno's daring tactics and last-minute heroics at the Winter Olympics' short-track speed skating events. I was even more in awe of NBC's "human interest" story on Apollo and his father. It went something like this:

Apollo was raised by his single father Yuki in Seattle. As a young speedskater, he excelled in his sport despite skipping out on training from time-to-time without the knowledge of his father. He and his father lived the crazy life of a skating family, so similar to that of many swimming families - up in the morning for practices, entire weekends spent at meets, much of the family time devoted to the sport. Apollo eventually became an elite athlete by 1998, but finished dead last at the Olympic Trials. "He could tell that I didn't give my best effort, that I gave up, and it crushed him," says a more mature Apollo now. When they returned home, Yuki took him to a remote oceanside cabin and DROPPED HIM OFF, saying "you need to decide what you want to do with your life." Heavy stuff for a teenager! Young Apollo sat in that cabin and thought, and finally EIGHT DAYS LATER, called his father and said, "this is what I want to do, I want to skate." Ohno has since become one of the most decorated Winter Olympians in history, by his own admission largely due to the path he has chosen since that day.

Hearing that story, part of me thinks Yuki must have been crazy to drop his son off and not go check on him for eight days. The lesson here is not in the details, but that Apollo's father asked him to make a commitment. After his son's last-place finish, it would have been easy for him to say, "You've reached a high level, and you did your best," even when it clearly wasn't the case. Instead, he asked his son to make a commitment, and backed it up with an equal commitment on his part. What a terrific example to sports parents everywhere who might struggle to get up early to drive their kids to morning practice, or who question whether their child needs to attend ANOTHER competition. Maybe the kid will become an Olympian, maybe he won't. But by encouraging him to make and keep a commitment and making the same one yourself, you are teaching your child a valuable lifelong lesson that won't be undone.

Republished from SWIMTELLIGENCE

Kids and Two-Career Parents

News For SWIM  PARENTS Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association

The prototypical swimming mother, renowned for devoting herself wholly to her children's swimming careers is nearly an extinct species.  With both parents working in 70% of households, the old swimming mom is now a career mom, with all the stresses and complications that brings.  And that means everybody in the world of age group swimming must adjust - from coaches who will have to be more reasonable in enforcing rules on practice attendance and punctuality...to parents who must plan more thoroughly to arrange kids transportation from school or home to an afternoon practice session...to the demands the sport makes on families who must give up now-precious weekends to attend meets.

Making time for kids, jobs, and the personal needs of every family member is the greatest challenge in the two-career family.  A child who feels neglected by busy parents will feel resentful.  Here are some hints adapted from PARENTS magazine on how to prevent kids from feeling neglected.

It's important for kids to feel they're not competing for attention with their parents' careers.  Dr. James Comer, professor of child psychology at Yale University suggests putting your child's practices, competitions, and special events on your work calendar and trying to plan work requirements around them.  If one parent has a more flexible schedule than the other at particular times, that parent would take on greater responsibility for involvement in swimming activities.  Whenever schedules permit, both parents should attend the kids' activities.  When neither parent is available, make arrangements for the children to call on neighbors or nearby relatives.

Dr. Comer also suggests parents should be willing to receive a call at work from their children at any time.  If an ethos of cooperation and teamwork evolves through honest and open communication of the reasons for both parents working, children will be unlikely to abuse the privilege.  This can also be an opportunity to give children added responsibilities and a meaningful role to play in achieving family goals.  Parents who actively plan for and show a clear interest in their children's activities will find that the kids, in return, respect the needs of their parents.

Above all, Dr.Comer stresses the importance of listening to the children's concerns and being willing to acknowledge the shortcomings of the situation to address the kinds of plans and cooperation needed for all family members to have their needs met.

LIFE SKILLS TRAINING EXERCISES

BY AIMEE KIMBALL, PhD//SPORT PSYCHOLOGIST

Ask swimmers to identify characteristics of the best athletes. Each week pick one of these characteristics to focus on. Have a conversation with your athletes about this life skill and enforce its use throughout the week. At the end of the week, ask them how they used this life skill in the pool, in their social life, in school, or in any activity in which they are involved.

For example, if they say a “positive attitude” is a characteristic of successful athletes, spend 15 minutes talking to them and getting their thoughts on why this is so important. Throughout the week, any time someone is negative, have him turn the negative thought into something positive. At the end of the week, ask them for examples of when their positive attitudes helped them through challenging situations and if there was any time when having a negative attitude hindered their performance. This helps the swimmers understand the importance of this life skill and teaches them how to use it throughout their lives to be successful.

TEACHING LIFE SKILLS THROUGH SPORT

BY AIMEE KIMBALL, PhD//SPORT PSYCHOLOGIST

The old cliché that sport doesn’t create character, it reveals it, is somewhat true. However, because of the amount of time athletes spend in athletics during their formative years, sport is at least partially responsible for shaping the character of individuals.

Because sport impacts the psychological and social development of athletes, it is imperative that athletes use sport as a means to develop skills that will enhance their characters and contribute to their eventual success outside of sport.

While there are many life skills that can be learned through sport, we can’t just assume that athletes will pick these skills up on their own. It is up to parents and coaches to teach these skills.

A “life skill” is any personal attribute or behavior that assists individuals in overcoming challenges in athletic, academic, social and other life situations. Life skills are often the intangible traits a person must possess to turn his physical ability into a successful outcome.

For example, swimmers who have perfect technique, strength and endurance will only reach their full potential if they have the necessary work ethic, mental toughness and commitment (among other life skills) to succeed.

These same swimmers may also be academically gifted, but without those same life skills, they may not be successful in school. Therefore, it is the combination of physical ability and psycho-social skills that help people to reach their potential.

A common example highlighting the importance of life skills also happens to be one of the most frustrating things for many coaches and parents – physically gifted swimmers who do not achieve the level of success they are capable of.

Parents and coaches may wrongly assume these athletes do not care, but it is more often the case that they just don’t know how to put their skill to good use.

Often these are the swimmers that experienced early success, the early maturers were stronger and taller than their peers and were able to win races without having to work at it. When their later maturing peers physically develop and catch up, the athletes with the early success often become frustrated and their confidence decreases because they think they “lost it.” 

They didn’t actually “lose” their ability to swim well. They are not having continued success because they never learned what it meant to truly push their physical limits because they previously did not have to.

Coaches and parents can make sure skilled athletes develop the necessary work ethic and life skills to be successful by stressing the importance of constant improvement, rather than just winning. By focusing on what it takes to improve both time and technique, swimmers develop a sense of pride from seeing their hard work, commitment and dedication pay off. Swimmers can also be encouraged to develop their skills in a wide range of events, rather than concentrating on the ones where they always succeed.

By emphasizing these life skills and by talking about how these characteristics lead to success in and out of the pool, parents and coaches can teach athletes that success is not all about physical ability, it’s about how well they combine this ability with their attitude.

Like anything else, life skills take work to develop. While there are many life skills that can be taught through sport, it is up to the adults involved to use “teachable moments” to ensure that athletes learn these skills and develop them for success outside of sport.

How To Prevent Swimmers’ Ear

Every year, when the summer months come around and the city pools become overrun with thousands of summer-league swimmers, the number of swimmers’ ear cases skyrockets proportionally. This very painful infection of the inner-ear can ruin a season, a summer, or even a swimming career if it becomes severe enough. Luckily, with diligence, swimmer’s ear can be easily prevented with about 2 minutes of care after each practice.

Swimmer’s ear is caused by water penetrating the water-resistant lining of the ear canal. This lining is usually pretty solid, but when it is wet for a long period of time, it becomes pruney and soft, much like our fingers and toes do. This makes the ear very susceptible to tearing, and once there is even a tiny tear, bacteria can get into it and cause all sorts of nasty infections.

Symptoms: People with swimmer’s ear usually complain of an itchy and/or painful ear. The pain can be quite severe. The ear is particularly sensitive to the being tugged up and down. The earwax may appear soft and white, and there may be a small amount of clear discharge.

1. The first step is to consider ear plugs. When fit properly, these can help keep water out of the ear. General commercial earplugs do not tend to fit great, but ask your doctor if you want to get custom made plugs. Pulling a cap down over the swimmer’s ears will help keep the earplugs in place (as well as cover them up for those kids who are shy about them!).
2. After practice, playing in the pool, and even baths and showers, use ear drops to dry the water out of your swimmers’ ear. Q-tips can irritate the ear canal and contribute to swimmer’s ear, so ear drops are the safest way to dry them out. Tip the swimmer’s head to one side and put a few drops in. Keep the head tilted for a minute or so to ensure it absorbs the water and bacteria, and then tip the head the other way to drain the solution. Repeat with the other ear.

These solutions can be bought at your local grocery store, or just combine 1 part water, 1 part vinegar, and 1 part rubbing alcohol. The vinegar disinfects, and the rubbing alcohol dries the ear out. Note that these drops are to be used to PREVENT swimmer’s ear, or to treat very mild cases.

FOR MORE SEVERE CASES, consult a doctor before putting anything in the child’s ear to prevent a very painful reaction. Prevention can go a long way, because once a swimmer gets an infection once, it is likely to recur frequently.

This article should not be taken as medical advice. Please consult your doctor if you have any concerns about your or your child’s health.

Moving Up: The Parent Transition

swimtelligence.blogspot.com

"Moving up" is an important experience in the life of a swimmer. When a swimmer is old enough, has shown a sufficient level of commitment, and has improved his skills to a new level, he will be invited to "move up" into the next training squad. The invitation is an honor, a sign that the coaching staff believes the swimmer is ready to take his performance to new heights.

Moving up often means increases in commitment, training time, the difficulty of practices, and a new group of teammates to train with. Each of these aspects of the move-up can present challenges. Thus, the swimmer will need the support of his parents. This brings us to our topic: The Parent Transition.
When your swimmer moves from one squad to the next, you as a parent must also make a transition. These changes include:

• Increasing your own level of commitment. Your swimmer will likely be expected to practice MORE OFTEN. At BWST, our squads are set up so that each squad practices for a longer duration more frequently than the squad below it. At the senior level, this means that your swimmer may now be expected to attend morning practices. This of course means that you may have to drive!
• Adjusting your expectations for your swimmer's performance. Generally speaking, as swimmers get older they swim best times by smaller margins with less frequency. For instance, 10-year-old Johnny drops 6 seconds in the 100 free every meet all season long. When Johnny is 16, his goal may be to drop 3 seconds in the entire season. This may not happen immediately when a swimmer moves up, but with increased levels of training, he may be more fatigued and have a more difficult time swimming fast during the season. Rest assured, if he is working hard, the coaches are preparing him to swim faster than ever.
• Being willing to travel more often and for longer distances. For younger swimmers, we often don't have to travel outside of the Potomac Valley area to find competition to challenge our swimmers. As swimmers get older and reach more elite levels in our sport (particularly the Sectional level and beyond), it will become necessary to travel further for meets. Regional and National meets are usually held in locations outside of Virginia, and we want to find new competition and faster competition to continue to challenge our swimmers. Think of the story of the Japanese koi fish. When kept in small ponds, they don't grow particularly large. When set free to larger bodies of water, they grow to much greater lengths. In order for our swimmers to become "big fish" we must expose them to the "ocean" of competition that exists outside of our Virginia pond.
• Taking a step back and encouraging your swimmer to take ownership. Often, young 10 & under swimmers are motivated to swim fast in order to make their parents proud. As swimmers progress into the early teens, this motivation dries up and a swimmer must be motivated from within by his own desire to succeed. He also must learn to take responsibility for all aspects of his swimming. For instance, a 12-year-old should be packing his own swim bag, and a teenager should be waking himself up for morning practice. With increased responsibility comes increased ownership and a stronger internal drive to succeed.

Making The Parent Transition is a vital part of a swimmer's growth and development from novice to age grouper, from age grouper to senior swimmer, and from senior swimmer to elite champion.

Six No-No Phrases for the Swim Parent

swimtelligence.blogspot.com 13 July 2009

Parents often ask what to say to their swimmers to help them succeed. The conversations that happen between a parent and child can have a dramatic impact in shaping a swimmer's attitudes toward swimming. The phrases below are all things coaches have heard before, and we just cringe when we hear them. Each is an example of what not to say to your swimmer.

1. Introducing your child to someone as "the swimmer." "This is Johnny, the swimmer." Swimming is something your child does, not who she is. Help your child cultivate his identity as a person, and encourage him to be the best he can be at swimming. Ultimately, he will better be able to weather the storms of failure and enjoy the fruits of success in swimming if his identity is not wrapped around it.
2. "We came all this way/spent all this money/took all this time... and you swam slow/didn't try/performed poorly." Your kid is probably already disappointed in her own performance, without adding the weight of your parental sacrifices. Understand that it is the nature of human performance that your child will not perform at his or her best at every meet or in every race. The effect of making this comment is that the next time you make a sacrifice to go to a meet, your child will feel the added pressure - possibly to the detriment of his performance.
3. "Good job" (When your child doesn't perform well) She knows when it was a good swim and when it was a bad one. False praise does nothing but cheapen the praise when it is actually deserved. Try "good effort" or "you'll get 'em next time" or "I love you anyway."
4. "WE need to get this cut, WE need to win this event, etc." How many lengths of the pool are you swimming, mom? It is your child's swim, not yours, and you should try to promote his ownership of his performance. Be his biggest fan--there to support him through good and bad--not his teammate.
5. "It's probably your training" (reason why you swam slow). As a parent, it is important that you buttress your child's confidence in his coach. If you have concerns about your swimmer's progress, address them with the coach. Passing your concern on to your swimmer is likely to weaken the coach-swimmer partnership.
6. "It's okay, you don't have to go to practice today." This one comes up when your child is tired, cranky, or is just not wanting to go to practice. It is going to happen at some point that your age grouper will have one of these days. But rather than act as enabler by caving to your swimmer's desire not to attend practice, remind him that it his swimming and his results at the end of the season that will be affected. Remind him of the commitment he has made to his team and to his own swimming. The key is to get your child to make the decision, rather than having you the parent act as the passive enabler. It's tough -- you may not want to take him to practice either, but taking this approach consistently will help your child take ownership of his performance.

Parents, any questions about effective ways to talk swimming with your kid?  Let your coach know, and let's get the lines of communication open and flowing!

What is Short Course, What is Long Course?

News For SWIM  PARENTS Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association

For years the "American Standard Short Course" pool has been a 25 yard pool.  Almost all high school pools and most college pools are 25 yards long and most high school and college meets are run as short course meets.  USA Swimming Club teams generally swim short course meets from September through March.

The international standard is meters.  The Olympics, Pan-American Games, and World Championships are held in 50 meter pools.  In this country, most 50 meter pools are outdoors due to the cost of building an indoor 50 meter pool.  For that reason our long course season is generally from March through August.  As more and more indoor 50 meter pools are being built and as the United States focuses more on international swimming the distinction between the "short course season" and the "long course season" becomes less distinct and more meets are going to the long course standard throughout the year -- with the exception of high school and college swimming which will generally remain short course yards.

At this time (April) many teams are training short course but are preparing to go to long course when the outdoor pool is ready.  Some lucky teams are located in a climate and have access to long course pools all year around.  And some lucky teams have indoor 50 meter water all year around.

Eventually we all will be at swim meets during the spring and summer that are long course.  This will cause some confusion about times.  The times will be slower because a 50 meter swim is approximately 5 yards longer than a 50 yard swim.  Another factor are turns.  There are less turns in long course swimming and generally, turns are faster than swimming -- we can push off the wall faster than we can swim.  (Although for some of our swimmers who have not yet mastered a turn, the turning process is slower than swimming!)

Some people attempt to "convert" a short course time to a long course time or visa versa.  The conversion factors are not precise due to differences in turns, strokes, and individual's ability to swim the extra distance at speed.  Conversions can lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointments, or to a false sense of achievement.  For those reasons we do not convert times.  We simply say that each swimmer has two sets of best times, one for long course and one for short course.

Kids And Sport

News For SWIM  PARENTS Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association

By Ira Klein, ASCA Level 5

Recently I read an article from Sports Psychology magazine, written by Dr. David A. Feigley.  He works with the Rutgers University Youth Sport Research Council.  The article was entitled "Why Kids Quit" and contained interesting and useful information which I wish to share with all of you.

First, why do kids play sports? 

There are three basic types of participants.  Ability oriented children enjoy competition and "want to be the best".  Task oriented children enjoy the activity itself and often focus on self-improvement.  Social approval oriented children work to please others such as coaches, parents, and teammates.  To my surprise, the author says that the evidence suggests that those who work for social approval persist the longest.

Children aged six years and younger cannot distinguish between ability and effort.  They believe that when they try hard they are automatically good at what they are doing.  Praise tends to be accepted positively by very young children regardless of whether the task was successfully completed or not. 

Children aged seven through eleven develop the ability to differentiate between having talent and trying hard.  They compare themselves with others, and if they feel they cannot succeed, they would rather not try.  They find it easier to attribute failure to a deliberate lack of effort, than to admit that they lack ability.

Children from age twelve become skilled at making social comparisons and realize that expending effort is no longer a guarantee that they will succeed.

What can we do to help reduce the pressures that children feel?

1. Encourage enjoyment of the activity and self-improvement.
2. Encourage children to interpret comparisons with others solely as a tool for improving.  Comparisons should be constructive and never as simple as "they are better" or "you are not as good".
3. Praise must be an earned reward.   As children mature, they begin to value praise for successful outcomes much more than praise for trying hard.  Look for specific successes.
4. Continually remind your children that ability often changes dramatically as they mature.

Key To Goal Setting: Parent Support

News For SWIM  PARENTS Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association

The goal of goal setting with young swimmers is to learn how to set goals.  With 10 and unders it is important that they are successful at achieving the goals that the coach and parents help them set. 

However, part of learning how to set goals, and also a part of growing up, is an occasional failure at achieving a goal.  Failing to meet a goal can have disastrous effects, or, can be part of a healthy growing experience, depending on the support of parents and coach.  While it is probably not a good idea to allow 10 and unders to set goals that they probably cannot reach, with 11 and 12 year olds, one approach is to give them more freedom in selecting goals thus allowing them an occasional "opportunity to fail".

When properly guided, a young person who fails to achieve a goal can learn that success is often built upon failure.  What would be the parent, coach, swimmer relationship for goal setting for 11 - 12's?  For parents this can be a very challenging time.  These young people are beginning to experiment with independence.  You may find that your influence does not have the immediate impact that you are accustomed.  When suggesting goals to your young swimmer, regardless of how appropriate the goals are, you are likely to find some resistance.  However, the emotional support a young swimmer needs at this age from you is as great as ever.  While the swimmer may not want to hear your suggestions for what to do in the pool, they sure need your support for what they are attempting to do, and sometimes fail to do.

Here are some questions you might ask your goal setting young swimmer.

• Have you and Coach talked about your goals for the season?
• What are the goals you have decided on?
• Did you write them down?
• What did Coach say you needed to work on in order to reach your goals?
• Did you get any closer to your goals today?

The coach begins to take on a more influential role in the swimming development of the young swimmer at this time.  Swimmers sometimes think, eat, breath, sleep, and swim according to the direction of the coach and they may respond better to suggestions made by the coach than those made by you.  For example, you may be trying to improve the nutritional aspects of your young swimmer's breakfast only to find a typical bit of standard 11 and 12 resistance.  However, when the coach suggest the exact same advice to your swimmer he is ready to change his breakfast routine the next day. For this reason, plus the fact that the coach best knows the swimming abilities of your child, the primary influence in goal setting for 11 - 12's is the coach.

The coach acts as a guide, asking your swimmer appropriate questions to help him decide on goals.  When your child has a goal in mind and is convinced he can achieve that goal, coaches (and parents) should accept it as a goal even if it seems too ambitious.

What happens when he fails to meet the goal?  From you, he needs unconditional support and careful guidance.

Let's consider a situation where 12 year old Bobby has a best time of 1:07.5 in the 100 free, a "B" time.  He has several "B" times in other strokes but no "A" times.  His coach feels that a good goal for Bobby would be to make an "A" time in the 100 free, 1:03.19.  However, Bobby has set his own goal of breaking a minute in the 100 free in the final "B" meet of the season.  He knows if he breaks a minute he will qualify for the Junior Olympics and gain a spot on the relay.  Contributing to Bobby's desire to qualify for Junior Olympics this season is the fact that he turns 13 shortly after the meet and he knows it will take a 55.3 to qualify for the next Junior Olympics as a 13 - 14 year old.  Bobby also set three other goals which fall within the coaches expectations so the coach allows Bobby this "opportunity to fail". 

During the season, Bobby makes steady progress as he drops his time in the 100 free to 1:04.0 and he is still hoping to break a minute.  At the final "B" meet he goes a 1:03.0, a new "A" time, and wins the event.  The coach and Bobby's parents are very pleased with his performance.  Bobby, however, is dejected because he did not make his goal of breaking a minute.

Bobby's parents, sitting in the bleachers, observe him speaking with his coach.  His mood does not noticeably change despite his coaches' congratulatory gestures, smiling face, and reassuring words.  Now Bobby is on his way up into the bleachers to visit his parents.  What's important to say to Bobby?

• First, attend first to Bobby's physical needs, "Are you warm enough?  Please put on your warm ups.  Do you need something to drink?"
• Then, do not deny him the opportunity to express his disappointment and do not minimize his feelings.  You know it was a best time, and you know it was a good race, but you will not be able to MAKE him feel better by contradicting his feelings. Listen to him.
• Empathize with Bobby.  Say, "I know how disappointed you must be."
• Allow Bobby to find the solution to his disappointment.  "Why do you think you didn't make your goal?"  Bobby can respond to this question in one of several different ways and your follow up will be based on that response.  It is hard to generalize a conversation here, but what is important to remember is that through your questions and his responses, you want Bobby to realize that while his goal for breaking a minute is a good goal, his timetable for breaking a minute was too short and there are more things he needs to work on.
• Support Coach .  Ask Bobby, "What did Coach say?"  "That sounds like a good idea, do you think you can do that?"

The desired net result of the parent and athlete relationship in this type of goal setting situation is that the athlete receives support for his feelings and he comes to realize how to adjust his goal setting in order to be more successful next time.  With this result, you'll find your young swimmer better equipped to establish his next set of goals with the knowledge that he has your unconditional support.

How Do Coaches Pick My Swimmer's Events?

Guest editorial by Coach Ash Milad, King Aquatic Club
SEATTLE, Washington, March 3. As soon as the KING entries are posted on the website for any given meet, I am usually inundated with emails from parents of swimmers (some that swim for me and some that swim for other coaches) asking me if there is a way that events can be changed, if I really think that their swimmer is capable of handling these events, or telling me that their swimmer doesn't want to swim the 200 fly.

How do coaches pick my swimmer's events?

When coaches sit down to do their swimmers' entries they have the following in mind:

• What have we been working on in practice that I would like to see translated in to racing at a meet?
• Are there certain weaknesses that this swimmer has in their better event that another race might help them strengthen?
• Does the swimmer have a chance of qualifying for a championship meet in a certain event?
• Are there certain events that a swimmer has not swam in a long time that will allow him/her to achieve a best time and feel good about it?
• Am I helping this swimmer develop their skills to become a well-rounded swimmer?
• Am I helping this swimmer grow as a person and get over their fear of trying new things?

Not all of these apply to all swimmers or all decisions but in general your swimmer's events are well thought out and planned by your coach.

What have we been working on in practice that I would like to see translated in to racing at a meet?
During certain training cycles your swimmer's coach may be emphasizing a certain stroke, race, turn or other skill that we may want to see them demonstrate, try for the first time, or improve on in a racing situation. You might see all of the swimmers in a certain group swimming the same event at a given meet to achieve this goal.

Are there certain weaknesses that this swimmer has in their better event that another race might help them strengthen?
The classic example is a swimmer that has three good strokes but their IM is hampered by one really bad one. Racing the 100 of that bad stroke and getting a better feel for doing it fast may help that swimmer's IM.
Another example is a distance swimmer that doesn't take their 200 free out fast enough; racing the 50 free might help that person get a better idea of how to attack the first 50 of their 200. We know what your swimmer's strengths are; we just may want to see them continue to grow in other events especially as they are changing physically.

Does the swimmer have a chance of qualifying for a championship meet in a certain event?
If your swimmer is close to qualifying for a meet such as PNS Champs, Age-Group Sectionals, Senior Sectionals, Junior Nationals, U.S. Open or Olympic Trials, you may see them swim that event on a fairly regular basis to give them as many chances to qualify as possible. If you have questions about Time Standards you can find them on the KING Website under the team information tab.

Are there certain events that a swimmer has not swam in a long time that will allow them to achieve a best time and feel good about it?
Part of our job as coaches outside of making sure our swimmers are going fast is keeping them interested in the sport and managing their psyches. While serving as the Head Coach of the 2010 PNS All Star Team this past January, the team and I had a great opportunity to listen to USA Olympian Margaret Hoelzer speak. She told the swimmers that while in high school she did not go a best time in any of her best events. Plateaus will occur in certain events and it is our job as coaches to make sure that our swimmers are constantly given new challenges so that they can experience certain amounts of success and maintain their excitement about the sport.

Am I helping this swimmer develop their skills and become a well-rounded swimmer?
We pride ourselves at KING, especially at the 14 & under level, in making sure we train kids in all strokes to avoid having them specialize until they are older and their bodies are done developing. We train in a very IM based manner and want to make sure that the swimmers develop all four of their strokes while they are young. Our event selections have and will very much reflect that. I know I personally make a point of trying to have all of my regional swimmers swim every event at least once during the season.

Am I helping this swimmer grow as a person and get over their fear of trying new things?
Finally, and maybe most importantly, we are trying to help develop our swimmers as young people. Overcoming fears of trying new things is a great skill that they can take away from this sport and apply later in their lives. We realize that kids in general are probably going to be intimidated and nervous the first time we enter them in a 200 fly or 400 IM. Know that we have not entered them without confidence that they are ready to do it and will get something out of it. It may be just a sense of pride that they are able to complete the event, it might be gaining the realization that they are better at longer distances, or it might be even be qualifying for a meet. This is why there needs to be the trust between swimmer, coach, and parent that the coaching staff is doing what is best for each swimmer and their development as an athlete and a person.
If swimmers have apprehensions about an event they are entered in, encourage them to speak to their coach directly to understand why they are swimming the event and in order to help them develop a race strategy before the meet. This will allow the swimmer/coach to build a trusting relationship as well as help prepare the swimmers in a proper manner before trying an event for the first time.

All in all, we are trying to do our best when we select events for meets to make sure that the swimmers are improving, engaged, developing, growing and progressing at a rate that keeps them in the sport and feeling successful.

www.swimmingworldmagazine.com

Hitting the Pool, and the Books, in College

Take preparatory steps to make journey a success

by: Bob Schaller, Ph.D., Senior Writer

04/16/10

So your child is all grown up.

Almost.

Headed to college, going to swim, on scholarship or not, at a Division I powerhouse or at a D-III school. Or perhaps on a club team.

Life is about to change for your pride and joy. And it’s a good thing in every way imaginable.

However, just like you helped them along the way with warm meals, encouragement and hard work, make sure you help them prepare properly for the challenge ahead. You made them meals, gave them that ride, brought them that dry towel, and that sweatshirt with the knit cap when it had turned cold and windy.

And now, all of that is on them.

High school was easy, even with the practices and everything. The school requires the kids to be there.

That won’t be the case in college. In fact, the way the structure is at some schools, the freshmen level classes are so big, no one will know if they skip class.

Point Number One: Encourage your child to go to all classes, no matter how boring, how inane, or how hard the teacher is to understand or get a read on. Fact is, if a student goes to class and sits up front, statistics show they are far, far more likely to get an A or B than others. Plus, professors notoriously throw out test answers during lectures. Go to class, above all, go to every class. Taking notes in class is important, because it shows what the focus is going to be on tests, even which parts of the reading can be skimmed over – or paid less attention to.

Point Number Two: Get all the homework done – on time. This is pretty easy, because in a lot of classes, they will have only two or three tests plus a final. So don’t get behind. Staying up to date on readings keeps the workload from becoming insurmountable as finals approach. Just get it done. Read during lunch.

Point Number Three: Check out the teacher’s rating to get a grasp – but don’t take it as gospel. Most of these are available internally once your child is enrolled, allowing them to see grade disbursements and instructor evaluations. A lot of the online ratings can be helpful, but those can also be used as axes to grind by students who did not do homework or didn’t show up to class.

Point Number Four: This one is highly personal. Be wary of “testing” out of classes. One student who tested out of math in high school got to biomechanics her senior year and had no clue on college Algebra or stats, but because she got the minimal grade on the Advanced Placement test in high school, was able to test out of math. As a rule of thumb, use this: Only test out of non-foundational classes. If a student is going to take intermediate macro theory, for example, they should take the intro class (or classes, micro and macro) at college, not test out of them. If they are a science major, they should not test out of any math or science. If, for example – and this varies by major, and interest – they are being held back by a humanities requirement and plan to take no upper-division classes in a particular area, then perhaps consider testing out, but only as long as that is the terminal class level in that subject. If there is concern about the student adapting to the workload in college, do what I did: Have your child take a class in summer term at the local community college. They will get a small class size and great instruction, and will knock out a required class (make sure of this through both the junior college and the one they are enrolling at that fall). Community college credits are very inexpensive for residents compared to four-year schools, so this is a great way to go.

Point Number Five: Make the most of the resources. Your child will have the opportunity to attend study halls, receive tutoring and even to take tests from remote sites. Make the most of EVERY single resource. They are all legal, paid for, and there to help your child graduate on time. By the time students start asking for help, the slide has usually begun. Have them start out using all the help available, and as their academic skulls harden and they get their intellectual arms around the task at hand, peel back the help to only what they need once they’re sure they are fine each term.

Point Number Six: The final point is to divide the workload up once they start their freshman years (they will get help on this from advisors). Students, especially student-athletes, do not want more than one “writing intensive” class in one semester (a writing intensive class requires about 25 pages of papers). Also, the science classes, which are usually worth four credits because of labs, can be tough if taking more than one. Take that freshman comp with one math class. Be aware, though, that getting core requirements out of the way is the most important thing, because depending on the major (and required minor), the number of electives students can take is often a very small number.

These points would probably be important for any student. But for a swimmer, and any other student-athlete, time is literally a commodity. Even students who work 20 hours a week don’t have the travel and workout – and exhaustion – factors to deal with that student-athletes do. So while you prepare to let go, take a deep breath and help plan that first term. They are diving in the deep end, so they need some direction.

But they’re swimmers.

So they’ll be just fine.

www.swimnetwork.com

Playing Favorites

News For SWIM  PARENTS Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association

One day a few years ago, a club board member accused me of “having favorites” on our club team. Several other parent board members nodded their heads in agreement The implication was that this was a terrible sin. When I was a younger coach, I thought it was terrible also. And he was right. I did have favorites. My favorites were those athletes who most fervently did what I asked of them. Those that did, I gave more attention to. I talked to them more. I spent more time teaching them. I also expected more of them.

The implication that he was making was that my favorites got better than the others because they were my favorites, and that was somehow unfair. He mistook cause for effect.

The fact is, that the athletes who came to me ready to learn, ready to listen, ready to act on what they learned and try it my way, even if it was more challenging, more difficult than they imagined, were ready to get more out of our program. And they were my favorites.

As a coach, I have only one thing to offer to an athlete. That is, my attention. Which means that I attend to their needs. The reward for good behavior should be attention . . . attending to their needs. The consequence of inattention, lack of effort, unwillingness or unreadiness to learn or just plain offensive or disruptive behavior is my inattention to that athlete.

How could it be other than this? If you have three children, and you spend all of your time and energy work working with the one that is badly behaved, what does that tell your other two children? It tells them that to capture your attention, they should behave badly. What we reward, is what we get.

As a coach, I want athletes who are eager to learn eager to experiment to improve, eager to work hard. I want athletes who come to me to help develop their skills both mental and physical, and are willing to accept what I have to offer. Otherwise, why have they come to me. And I am going to reward that athlete with my attention. In so doing, I encourage others to become like the athlete above. If I spent my time with the unwilling, the slothful, the disruptive, I would only be encouraging that behavior.

The link I want to forge is between attention and excellence. Excellence in the sense of achieving all that is possible, and desired. My way of forging that, is to provide my attention to those who “attend” to me. This does of course result in increased performance for those that do so. I am a professional coach, and when I pay attention to a person, that person is going to improve. Over time, this makes it appear that my “favorites” are the better swimmers. Not so at all. The better swimmers are those that pay attention, and thus become my favorites.

What Dad didn’t realize is that you must have favorites if anyone is to develop in a positive fashion. The coach’s job is to reward those who exhibit positive developmental behaviors. Those are my “favorites,” and they should be.

Dealing with Nerves

We know that excessive anxiety can be damaging to both performance and to the athlete's desire to enter such situations in the future. Two factors which have been found to play a role in the level of anxiety experienced are the importance of the event and the uncertainly of the outcome. Greater importance and greater uncertainty lead to increased anxiety. Parents, this suggests that you can play an active role in reducing competition anxiety by de-valuing the outcome of the event and by focusing on the individual performance over which the athletes have control.

Research has shown that children can learn emotional control strategies, ways of managing stress, positive thinking, and use of imagery to enhance their performance. Remember, children are not miniature adults, so the tactics must be adapted. They also must be practiced well in advance, not just the night before the competition!

Let’s take the example of teaching a very young child athlete to relax. A common technique for teaching adult athletes to relax is progressive muscle relaxation--to teach them to systematically tense various muscles groups and then relax them. When learned this allows the athlete to identify what it feels like to be relaxed versus tensed and how to relax on command. When we do this with very young child athletes we need to instruct them in terms they can understand. It must also be fun. Hence, instead of saying “feel the tension leave your leg” one might say let your leg go from being hard like a rock to “feeling like a warm piece of spaghetti” or turn your stomach from steel to “soft Jell-O”.

We also need to make things concrete when working with younger athletes. For example, when teaching them to control their thoughts a common technique is to have the youngster envision a television channel changer and practice switching from a negative or frustrating channel (negative thoughts) to a more positive one (positive thoughts).

www.usaswimming.org

Stunned, Shammed, Thankful, and Finally… Helpful

News For SWIM  PARENTS Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association

[Editors note:  a letter from a club’s newsletter]

My Fellow Parents:

The word “ignoramus “ comes to mind, but then I realized I wasn't sure what an ignoramus was.  After consulting Webster’s, I confirmed that I was one.  You see an ignoramus is a person who simply doesn't know.

My wife and girls have been involved with the team for almost two years.  With all their coming and going, I occasionally found myself tagging along, usually reluctantly, timing a race, helping out at the snack bar for a few hours, but not much else.  It wasn't until our last home meet when I offered to help cook at the concession stand and do some prep work Friday night before the meet, that I realized how much of an ignoramus I really was.

I was amazed at how much work went into simply setting up the concession stand, and the shade areas for timers and judges.  That night I got home at 10:30 p.m.  After the meet on Sunday, all the stuff that got set up had to come down.  I spent at least 3 more hours helping there as well as all day cooking and selling at the concessions.

That weekend left me stunned, shamed, and thankful all at once.  Stunned because of the tremendous amount of man hours required to put on an event like that.  Shamed, because where was I in the past when a dedicated few could have used some help to shoulder the load?  I was also thankful for these people who were fun to work with and who had quietly and diligently served my children those past two years.

Well those of you who were like me, you can't be an ignoramus anymore because I just blew your cover.  Maybe you'd like to come along at our next home meet and pitch in?  There'll be plenty to do and there's a chance we could have some fun doing it.