Key To Goal Setting: Parent Support

News For SWIM  PARENTS Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association

The goal of goal setting with young swimmers is to learn how to set goals.  With 10 and unders it is important that they are successful at achieving the goals that the coach and parents help them set. 

However, part of learning how to set goals, and also a part of growing up, is an occasional failure at achieving a goal.  Failing to meet a goal can have disastrous effects, or, can be part of a healthy growing experience, depending on the support of parents and coach.  While it is probably not a good idea to allow 10 and unders to set goals that they probably cannot reach, with 11 and 12 year olds, one approach is to give them more freedom in selecting goals thus allowing them an occasional "opportunity to fail".

When properly guided, a young person who fails to achieve a goal can learn that success is often built upon failure.  What would be the parent, coach, swimmer relationship for goal setting for 11 - 12's?  For parents this can be a very challenging time.  These young people are beginning to experiment with independence.  You may find that your influence does not have the immediate impact that you are accustomed.  When suggesting goals to your young swimmer, regardless of how appropriate the goals are, you are likely to find some resistance.  However, the emotional support a young swimmer needs at this age from you is as great as ever.  While the swimmer may not want to hear your suggestions for what to do in the pool, they sure need your support for what they are attempting to do, and sometimes fail to do.

Here are some questions you might ask your goal setting young swimmer.

• Have you and Coach talked about your goals for the season?
• What are the goals you have decided on?
• Did you write them down?
• What did Coach say you needed to work on in order to reach your goals?
• Did you get any closer to your goals today?

The coach begins to take on a more influential role in the swimming development of the young swimmer at this time.  Swimmers sometimes think, eat, breath, sleep, and swim according to the direction of the coach and they may respond better to suggestions made by the coach than those made by you.  For example, you may be trying to improve the nutritional aspects of your young swimmer's breakfast only to find a typical bit of standard 11 and 12 resistance.  However, when the coach suggest the exact same advice to your swimmer he is ready to change his breakfast routine the next day. For this reason, plus the fact that the coach best knows the swimming abilities of your child, the primary influence in goal setting for 11 - 12's is the coach.

The coach acts as a guide, asking your swimmer appropriate questions to help him decide on goals.  When your child has a goal in mind and is convinced he can achieve that goal, coaches (and parents) should accept it as a goal even if it seems too ambitious.

What happens when he fails to meet the goal?  From you, he needs unconditional support and careful guidance.

Let's consider a situation where 12 year old Bobby has a best time of 1:07.5 in the 100 free, a "B" time.  He has several "B" times in other strokes but no "A" times.  His coach feels that a good goal for Bobby would be to make an "A" time in the 100 free, 1:03.19.  However, Bobby has set his own goal of breaking a minute in the 100 free in the final "B" meet of the season.  He knows if he breaks a minute he will qualify for the Junior Olympics and gain a spot on the relay.  Contributing to Bobby's desire to qualify for Junior Olympics this season is the fact that he turns 13 shortly after the meet and he knows it will take a 55.3 to qualify for the next Junior Olympics as a 13 - 14 year old.  Bobby also set three other goals which fall within the coaches expectations so the coach allows Bobby this "opportunity to fail". 

During the season, Bobby makes steady progress as he drops his time in the 100 free to 1:04.0 and he is still hoping to break a minute.  At the final "B" meet he goes a 1:03.0, a new "A" time, and wins the event.  The coach and Bobby's parents are very pleased with his performance.  Bobby, however, is dejected because he did not make his goal of breaking a minute.

Bobby's parents, sitting in the bleachers, observe him speaking with his coach.  His mood does not noticeably change despite his coaches' congratulatory gestures, smiling face, and reassuring words.  Now Bobby is on his way up into the bleachers to visit his parents.  What's important to say to Bobby?

• First, attend first to Bobby's physical needs, "Are you warm enough?  Please put on your warm ups.  Do you need something to drink?"
• Then, do not deny him the opportunity to express his disappointment and do not minimize his feelings.  You know it was a best time, and you know it was a good race, but you will not be able to MAKE him feel better by contradicting his feelings. Listen to him.
• Empathize with Bobby.  Say, "I know how disappointed you must be."
• Allow Bobby to find the solution to his disappointment.  "Why do you think you didn't make your goal?"  Bobby can respond to this question in one of several different ways and your follow up will be based on that response.  It is hard to generalize a conversation here, but what is important to remember is that through your questions and his responses, you want Bobby to realize that while his goal for breaking a minute is a good goal, his timetable for breaking a minute was too short and there are more things he needs to work on.
• Support Coach .  Ask Bobby, "What did Coach say?"  "That sounds like a good idea, do you think you can do that?"

The desired net result of the parent and athlete relationship in this type of goal setting situation is that the athlete receives support for his feelings and he comes to realize how to adjust his goal setting in order to be more successful next time.  With this result, you'll find your young swimmer better equipped to establish his next set of goals with the knowledge that he has your unconditional support.

How Do Coaches Pick My Swimmer's Events?

Guest editorial by Coach Ash Milad, King Aquatic Club
SEATTLE, Washington, March 3. As soon as the KING entries are posted on the website for any given meet, I am usually inundated with emails from parents of swimmers (some that swim for me and some that swim for other coaches) asking me if there is a way that events can be changed, if I really think that their swimmer is capable of handling these events, or telling me that their swimmer doesn't want to swim the 200 fly.

How do coaches pick my swimmer's events?

When coaches sit down to do their swimmers' entries they have the following in mind:

• What have we been working on in practice that I would like to see translated in to racing at a meet?
• Are there certain weaknesses that this swimmer has in their better event that another race might help them strengthen?
• Does the swimmer have a chance of qualifying for a championship meet in a certain event?
• Are there certain events that a swimmer has not swam in a long time that will allow him/her to achieve a best time and feel good about it?
• Am I helping this swimmer develop their skills to become a well-rounded swimmer?
• Am I helping this swimmer grow as a person and get over their fear of trying new things?

Not all of these apply to all swimmers or all decisions but in general your swimmer's events are well thought out and planned by your coach.

What have we been working on in practice that I would like to see translated in to racing at a meet?
During certain training cycles your swimmer's coach may be emphasizing a certain stroke, race, turn or other skill that we may want to see them demonstrate, try for the first time, or improve on in a racing situation. You might see all of the swimmers in a certain group swimming the same event at a given meet to achieve this goal.

Are there certain weaknesses that this swimmer has in their better event that another race might help them strengthen?
The classic example is a swimmer that has three good strokes but their IM is hampered by one really bad one. Racing the 100 of that bad stroke and getting a better feel for doing it fast may help that swimmer's IM.
Another example is a distance swimmer that doesn't take their 200 free out fast enough; racing the 50 free might help that person get a better idea of how to attack the first 50 of their 200. We know what your swimmer's strengths are; we just may want to see them continue to grow in other events especially as they are changing physically.

Does the swimmer have a chance of qualifying for a championship meet in a certain event?
If your swimmer is close to qualifying for a meet such as PNS Champs, Age-Group Sectionals, Senior Sectionals, Junior Nationals, U.S. Open or Olympic Trials, you may see them swim that event on a fairly regular basis to give them as many chances to qualify as possible. If you have questions about Time Standards you can find them on the KING Website under the team information tab.

Are there certain events that a swimmer has not swam in a long time that will allow them to achieve a best time and feel good about it?
Part of our job as coaches outside of making sure our swimmers are going fast is keeping them interested in the sport and managing their psyches. While serving as the Head Coach of the 2010 PNS All Star Team this past January, the team and I had a great opportunity to listen to USA Olympian Margaret Hoelzer speak. She told the swimmers that while in high school she did not go a best time in any of her best events. Plateaus will occur in certain events and it is our job as coaches to make sure that our swimmers are constantly given new challenges so that they can experience certain amounts of success and maintain their excitement about the sport.

Am I helping this swimmer develop their skills and become a well-rounded swimmer?
We pride ourselves at KING, especially at the 14 & under level, in making sure we train kids in all strokes to avoid having them specialize until they are older and their bodies are done developing. We train in a very IM based manner and want to make sure that the swimmers develop all four of their strokes while they are young. Our event selections have and will very much reflect that. I know I personally make a point of trying to have all of my regional swimmers swim every event at least once during the season.

Am I helping this swimmer grow as a person and get over their fear of trying new things?
Finally, and maybe most importantly, we are trying to help develop our swimmers as young people. Overcoming fears of trying new things is a great skill that they can take away from this sport and apply later in their lives. We realize that kids in general are probably going to be intimidated and nervous the first time we enter them in a 200 fly or 400 IM. Know that we have not entered them without confidence that they are ready to do it and will get something out of it. It may be just a sense of pride that they are able to complete the event, it might be gaining the realization that they are better at longer distances, or it might be even be qualifying for a meet. This is why there needs to be the trust between swimmer, coach, and parent that the coaching staff is doing what is best for each swimmer and their development as an athlete and a person.
If swimmers have apprehensions about an event they are entered in, encourage them to speak to their coach directly to understand why they are swimming the event and in order to help them develop a race strategy before the meet. This will allow the swimmer/coach to build a trusting relationship as well as help prepare the swimmers in a proper manner before trying an event for the first time.

All in all, we are trying to do our best when we select events for meets to make sure that the swimmers are improving, engaged, developing, growing and progressing at a rate that keeps them in the sport and feeling successful.

www.swimmingworldmagazine.com

Hitting the Pool, and the Books, in College

Take preparatory steps to make journey a success

by: Bob Schaller, Ph.D., Senior Writer

04/16/10

So your child is all grown up.

Almost.

Headed to college, going to swim, on scholarship or not, at a Division I powerhouse or at a D-III school. Or perhaps on a club team.

Life is about to change for your pride and joy. And it’s a good thing in every way imaginable.

However, just like you helped them along the way with warm meals, encouragement and hard work, make sure you help them prepare properly for the challenge ahead. You made them meals, gave them that ride, brought them that dry towel, and that sweatshirt with the knit cap when it had turned cold and windy.

And now, all of that is on them.

High school was easy, even with the practices and everything. The school requires the kids to be there.

That won’t be the case in college. In fact, the way the structure is at some schools, the freshmen level classes are so big, no one will know if they skip class.

Point Number One: Encourage your child to go to all classes, no matter how boring, how inane, or how hard the teacher is to understand or get a read on. Fact is, if a student goes to class and sits up front, statistics show they are far, far more likely to get an A or B than others. Plus, professors notoriously throw out test answers during lectures. Go to class, above all, go to every class. Taking notes in class is important, because it shows what the focus is going to be on tests, even which parts of the reading can be skimmed over – or paid less attention to.

Point Number Two: Get all the homework done – on time. This is pretty easy, because in a lot of classes, they will have only two or three tests plus a final. So don’t get behind. Staying up to date on readings keeps the workload from becoming insurmountable as finals approach. Just get it done. Read during lunch.

Point Number Three: Check out the teacher’s rating to get a grasp – but don’t take it as gospel. Most of these are available internally once your child is enrolled, allowing them to see grade disbursements and instructor evaluations. A lot of the online ratings can be helpful, but those can also be used as axes to grind by students who did not do homework or didn’t show up to class.

Point Number Four: This one is highly personal. Be wary of “testing” out of classes. One student who tested out of math in high school got to biomechanics her senior year and had no clue on college Algebra or stats, but because she got the minimal grade on the Advanced Placement test in high school, was able to test out of math. As a rule of thumb, use this: Only test out of non-foundational classes. If a student is going to take intermediate macro theory, for example, they should take the intro class (or classes, micro and macro) at college, not test out of them. If they are a science major, they should not test out of any math or science. If, for example – and this varies by major, and interest – they are being held back by a humanities requirement and plan to take no upper-division classes in a particular area, then perhaps consider testing out, but only as long as that is the terminal class level in that subject. If there is concern about the student adapting to the workload in college, do what I did: Have your child take a class in summer term at the local community college. They will get a small class size and great instruction, and will knock out a required class (make sure of this through both the junior college and the one they are enrolling at that fall). Community college credits are very inexpensive for residents compared to four-year schools, so this is a great way to go.

Point Number Five: Make the most of the resources. Your child will have the opportunity to attend study halls, receive tutoring and even to take tests from remote sites. Make the most of EVERY single resource. They are all legal, paid for, and there to help your child graduate on time. By the time students start asking for help, the slide has usually begun. Have them start out using all the help available, and as their academic skulls harden and they get their intellectual arms around the task at hand, peel back the help to only what they need once they’re sure they are fine each term.

Point Number Six: The final point is to divide the workload up once they start their freshman years (they will get help on this from advisors). Students, especially student-athletes, do not want more than one “writing intensive” class in one semester (a writing intensive class requires about 25 pages of papers). Also, the science classes, which are usually worth four credits because of labs, can be tough if taking more than one. Take that freshman comp with one math class. Be aware, though, that getting core requirements out of the way is the most important thing, because depending on the major (and required minor), the number of electives students can take is often a very small number.

These points would probably be important for any student. But for a swimmer, and any other student-athlete, time is literally a commodity. Even students who work 20 hours a week don’t have the travel and workout – and exhaustion – factors to deal with that student-athletes do. So while you prepare to let go, take a deep breath and help plan that first term. They are diving in the deep end, so they need some direction.

But they’re swimmers.

So they’ll be just fine.

www.swimnetwork.com

Playing Favorites

News For SWIM  PARENTS Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association

One day a few years ago, a club board member accused me of “having favorites” on our club team. Several other parent board members nodded their heads in agreement The implication was that this was a terrible sin. When I was a younger coach, I thought it was terrible also. And he was right. I did have favorites. My favorites were those athletes who most fervently did what I asked of them. Those that did, I gave more attention to. I talked to them more. I spent more time teaching them. I also expected more of them.

The implication that he was making was that my favorites got better than the others because they were my favorites, and that was somehow unfair. He mistook cause for effect.

The fact is, that the athletes who came to me ready to learn, ready to listen, ready to act on what they learned and try it my way, even if it was more challenging, more difficult than they imagined, were ready to get more out of our program. And they were my favorites.

As a coach, I have only one thing to offer to an athlete. That is, my attention. Which means that I attend to their needs. The reward for good behavior should be attention . . . attending to their needs. The consequence of inattention, lack of effort, unwillingness or unreadiness to learn or just plain offensive or disruptive behavior is my inattention to that athlete.

How could it be other than this? If you have three children, and you spend all of your time and energy work working with the one that is badly behaved, what does that tell your other two children? It tells them that to capture your attention, they should behave badly. What we reward, is what we get.

As a coach, I want athletes who are eager to learn eager to experiment to improve, eager to work hard. I want athletes who come to me to help develop their skills both mental and physical, and are willing to accept what I have to offer. Otherwise, why have they come to me. And I am going to reward that athlete with my attention. In so doing, I encourage others to become like the athlete above. If I spent my time with the unwilling, the slothful, the disruptive, I would only be encouraging that behavior.

The link I want to forge is between attention and excellence. Excellence in the sense of achieving all that is possible, and desired. My way of forging that, is to provide my attention to those who “attend” to me. This does of course result in increased performance for those that do so. I am a professional coach, and when I pay attention to a person, that person is going to improve. Over time, this makes it appear that my “favorites” are the better swimmers. Not so at all. The better swimmers are those that pay attention, and thus become my favorites.

What Dad didn’t realize is that you must have favorites if anyone is to develop in a positive fashion. The coach’s job is to reward those who exhibit positive developmental behaviors. Those are my “favorites,” and they should be.

Dealing with Nerves

We know that excessive anxiety can be damaging to both performance and to the athlete's desire to enter such situations in the future. Two factors which have been found to play a role in the level of anxiety experienced are the importance of the event and the uncertainly of the outcome. Greater importance and greater uncertainty lead to increased anxiety. Parents, this suggests that you can play an active role in reducing competition anxiety by de-valuing the outcome of the event and by focusing on the individual performance over which the athletes have control.

Research has shown that children can learn emotional control strategies, ways of managing stress, positive thinking, and use of imagery to enhance their performance. Remember, children are not miniature adults, so the tactics must be adapted. They also must be practiced well in advance, not just the night before the competition!

Let’s take the example of teaching a very young child athlete to relax. A common technique for teaching adult athletes to relax is progressive muscle relaxation--to teach them to systematically tense various muscles groups and then relax them. When learned this allows the athlete to identify what it feels like to be relaxed versus tensed and how to relax on command. When we do this with very young child athletes we need to instruct them in terms they can understand. It must also be fun. Hence, instead of saying “feel the tension leave your leg” one might say let your leg go from being hard like a rock to “feeling like a warm piece of spaghetti” or turn your stomach from steel to “soft Jell-O”.

We also need to make things concrete when working with younger athletes. For example, when teaching them to control their thoughts a common technique is to have the youngster envision a television channel changer and practice switching from a negative or frustrating channel (negative thoughts) to a more positive one (positive thoughts).

www.usaswimming.org

Stunned, Shammed, Thankful, and Finally… Helpful

News For SWIM  PARENTS Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association

[Editors note:  a letter from a club’s newsletter]

My Fellow Parents:

The word “ignoramus “ comes to mind, but then I realized I wasn't sure what an ignoramus was.  After consulting Webster’s, I confirmed that I was one.  You see an ignoramus is a person who simply doesn't know.

My wife and girls have been involved with the team for almost two years.  With all their coming and going, I occasionally found myself tagging along, usually reluctantly, timing a race, helping out at the snack bar for a few hours, but not much else.  It wasn't until our last home meet when I offered to help cook at the concession stand and do some prep work Friday night before the meet, that I realized how much of an ignoramus I really was.

I was amazed at how much work went into simply setting up the concession stand, and the shade areas for timers and judges.  That night I got home at 10:30 p.m.  After the meet on Sunday, all the stuff that got set up had to come down.  I spent at least 3 more hours helping there as well as all day cooking and selling at the concessions.

That weekend left me stunned, shamed, and thankful all at once.  Stunned because of the tremendous amount of man hours required to put on an event like that.  Shamed, because where was I in the past when a dedicated few could have used some help to shoulder the load?  I was also thankful for these people who were fun to work with and who had quietly and diligently served my children those past two years.

Well those of you who were like me, you can't be an ignoramus anymore because I just blew your cover.  Maybe you'd like to come along at our next home meet and pitch in?  There'll be plenty to do and there's a chance we could have some fun doing it.