What Makes a Good Sports Parent?

By Daniel Coyle of www.thetalentcode.com

Of all the master coaches I know, John Kessel might be the best. Not because of his brilliant coaching of his sport (which happens to be volleyball), but more because of the way he thinks.  John is enthusiastically obsessed with the Big Questions: What’s the best environment for learning? How can you ignite motivation in young people? What is great teaching made of?

Earlier this week, John happened to see a presentation contrasting the habits of good classrooms and bad classrooms. After brainstorming with colleagues Leslee Harms and Cassie Weaver, he came up with the following poster, which highlights the key elements of a high-quality sports program.

I think it’s absolutely spot-on — and what’s more, applies to a lot more than just sports. In fact, if there’s a clearer road map to creating an effective learning environment, I haven’t seen it.

But of course, that’s just the start.

For the next project, John would like to come up with a similar road map for the single group of people who need it most: parents. His idea is to have the readers of this blog (and others) compile a similar list for parents: Call it: “A Tale of Two Parenting Styles.”

And that’s where you come in.

Would you be interested in offering John your ideas and suggestions on what makes an effective sports parent, and what doesn’t? Feel free to add however many you like; the only request is that you follow the above format. I’ll get it started:

• Parent A: Focuses on wins and losses as the measure of success
• Parent B:  Focuses on long-term learning.
• Parent A: Spends the car-ride home asking detailed questions about the game, the kid’s performance, and the coach
• Parent B: Spends the car-ride home being supportive, listening to music, talking about life outside sports

What do you think? Can you help John get this done?

PS – You can find John’s blog here, and more good posters here that, like the above, are free to print out and share (I especially like “Be a Coach” and “Be a Player”).

PPS - For inspiration, check out this hilarious animated video that John made with his son Cody, depicting a a coach’s conversation with a Parent from Hell.