Turning Obstacles Into Opportunities

Coping With Adversity is the Key

Dr. Scoresby, Ph.D

Nothing in the world will take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan, “Press on” has evolved and always will solve the problems of the human race. -Calvin Coolidge

Some parents think they can make sure their child has good self-esteem if they can shelter or protect her from trials, frustration, uncertainties and setbacks. The opposite is true. Their continual attempts to make their child happy and to protect her from every potential unpleasantness will most likely undermine her self-esteem. Allowing your child room to grow, make mistakes, deal with defeat and overcome problems is essential in the development of healthy self-esteem. You cannot bestow self-esteem, but you can help your child develop it by:

  • Helping your child set goals
  • Encouraging your child to challenge himself and improve his talents
  • Giving your child chores and responsibilities appropriate to his age and ability
  • Teaching your child that he is responsible for his own happiness and accomplishments
  • Providing academic and psychological support

By allowing your child a controlled amount of frustration, you’re showing confidence in her. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should leave her to deal with a hopeless situation alone. There are certainly times she will need your assistance. You can continue to be concerned and involved while encouraging independence.

Strategies to Promote Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

In School

If you believe your child lacks self-esteem and/or self-confidence because of problems he is having at school, talk to his teacher. If he is having difficulty academically, perhaps the teacher can suggest ways to give him opportunities to improve his self-confidence. For example, he could be encouraged to work on projects that will utilize his talents. School achievement is very important in the development of self-confidence.

At Home

1. Create and environment in your home that encourages the development of self-esteem. According to Dr. Ida Greene, an expert on developing self-esteem, the ingredients of such a home are:

  • Express love
  • Encourage goal-setting
  • Communicate honestly
  • Encourage independence
  • Define your family’s values
  • Create security and stability
  • Establish reasonable standards
  • Be consistent in your discipline
  • Create opportunities for success
  • Express faith in your child’s abilities
  • Praise your child’s accomplishments
  • Require age-appropriate responsibility
  • Provide emotional and academic support

If these ingredients are present in your home, your child will feel more secure, will like and respect herself, and will consider herself to be worthwhile and competent.

2. If your child’s poor self-esteem is chronic, she is probably suffering from emotional problems. The reasons for these problems need to be examined in counseling or psychotherapy. According to Greene, “Serious self-esteem deficits will not disappear of their own accord. The child who dislikes herself and feels “bad” will most likely continue to feel this way throughout her life unless she receives help from a mental health professional.” Academic success will not provide her much enjoyment or satisfaction. If you get help for her before her bad feelings become permanent you will give her a brighter future.

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Dr. Scoresby holds a Ph.D from the University of Minnesota in Counseling Psychology and is the author of many books, including Teaching Moral Development, Focus on the Children and Something Greater than Ourselves: The Exercise of Extraordinary Leadership. He is the director of Knowledge Gain Accelerated Learning Center and president of A. Lynn Scoresby & Associates, a leadership development firm.

How Far Ahead Should an Athlete Look?

Effective goal setting entails setting long-term and short-term goals; these goals will identify where the athlete is going and how they are going to get there. When planning a vacation, you often think about dream destinations. Where would you go if you had unlimited funds and abilities… Egypt, the Caribbean, Europe? As with traveling and many other aspects of life it is fun to dream. In sport, it is also fun and important to dream. Dream goals allow you to project years into the future without any limits. For example, for many athletes making the Olympic Team is a dream goal. .

Athletes need to progress from a dream goal to a long-term goal. Long-term goals are typically one season to numerous seasons down the road; as in the road trip analogy, this goal is the destination. One way to determine a good long-term goal would be to have swimmers ask themselves the question “where do I want to be at the end of the season or the end of high school or college?” Examples of the answer to this question can be in terms of having an improved streamline by the end of the season, a goal time, making a specific time standard, or earning a spot on a junior or senior national team.

In order to make the long-term goal seem less daunting, short-term goals are set. Short-term goals are set for shorter lengths of time than long-term goals, usually between two weeks and a month. Short-term goals serve as stepping-stones for the long-term goals. Setting short-term goals allow one to monitor success towards the long-term goals. A good question to have swimmers ask themselves is “Where do I want to be at the end of this month?”

Finally, short-term goals can also often feel far off therefore something more within reach is needed to maintain focus and motivation. For these reasons it is also important to set daily goals. Daily goals are to be set every day in practice and in competition. Setting effective daily goals will help motivate and bring higher intensity to training. Daily goals can be set for both physical training and psychological skill development. A good question for swimmers to ask themselves is “why am I getting in the water today?”

Reprinted from USA Swimming

Swim Meet Basics For Parents

Ideas to help you and your child be better prepared and “happier” at Swim Meets

By John Leonard, ASCA Director

  1. Be on time. On time means 15 minutes before warmup begins.
  2. Know the seating arrangements. Bring folding chairs to most outdoor pools. Bring drinks and snacks as appropriate. Sit with your child if that’s the team “thing.” Sit in the stands if that’s the way the team does it. Let the swimmers be with the swimmers. They don’t want to be with you in most cases. They want to be with their friends.
  3. Encourage your child to get immediately to the coach for warmup. (See following article about warmup.)
  4. Be a parent. Help them keep track of heats, events, etc. But remember that the main idea is to teach them to handle the environment of a swim meet themselves. This helps them “grow up.” It’s never too early....
  5. Cheer for other people’s children on the team. Don’t embarrass your own by standing behind their blocks screaming. Let other parents scream for your child.
  6. Let the coach coach. Unless you’re the coach. Then let someone else coach your child. So you can parent.
  7. Sometimes a child will “miss an event”. This happens, it’s a learning experience. Don’t freak out. Don’t handhold them to the next event. Expect responsibility. If they can’t handle it, maybe they are too young to be there. Let them rely on teammates for help.
  8. Sometimes a swimmer will false start and DQ a relay. Similarly, it’s a learning experience. Don’t freak out. The appropriate response by the swimmer to their teammates? Sorry guys. Everyone does it. Everyone needs to forgive. See, “Everyone Does It.” Reread that. Twice.
  9. Sometimes a swimmer DQ’s for swimming an event incorrectly. Do not address the official. Ask the coach what they did wrong. Make sure the swimmer understands how to do it correctly. End of story. It IS NOT a big deal. Learn from it.
  10. The child should have a goal for every swim. Sometimes a time, sometimes a technique. Ask what their goal is. Don’t help set it. That’s for the coach and swimmer.
  11. The coach will likely speak to your child before and after the event. The “before” is to remind them of their goals and needs, and the “after” is to review the successes and weak spots of the swim. Great feedback is great coaching.
  12. Make sure they drink in hot weather. Drink in all weather. Water, Gatorade, etc. NO SUGAR. NO CANDY. NO SUGAR, NO CANDY.
  13. If you have questions, ask the Coach. Try to do it when the Coach is not doing 12 other things. Get real answers. Asking another parent may not get you the right answer.
  14. When the meet is over, the meet is over. Forget it on the way home. Help the swimmer remember the lessons for the next time, but don’t dwell on the meet. Meet over....move on...next!
  15. Most coaches will say “it’s not about winning, it’s about improvement.” Know what is being improved, and measure it and help your child focus on the process and not “just” the result. What does it take to go faster?
  16. Keep it light. Have a sense of humor. An age group swim meet, taken at face value, is a pretty silly thing.....don’t overplay the “importance” of it ...it’s just an opportunity to test what you’ve been learning in practice. We repeat experiences that are enjoyable and avoid experiences that are not.

There are thousands of other ideas to add to this list. This is “just the basics”. Add to your own list.

And now, to the concept of WARMUP.

What is Warmup?

Warmup is what happens before a competition. Its purpose is several:

PHYSICAL:

  1. Literally warm and lubricate the muscles for “action”.
  2. Increase the heart rate in preparation for race action.
  3. Getting in touch with your feel for the water and ability to swim the strokes correctly.

And MENTAL:

  1. Get into focus. We’re at a swim meet to compete.
  2. Get rid of distractions.
  3. Focus on process and good technical swimming.
  4. Prepare to Race.

Most warmups at most meets are crowded and appear chaotic.

  • Typically the coach will put all swimmers in one or two lanes, together.
  • The swimmers will do an easy swim. (“easy 500 free”)
  • Then some gentle kicking. (“10 x 25 free kick on 30 seconds”)
  • Then some drills....(“200 IM Drill”)
  • Then a “start your heart” set...(“8 x 50 free, descend 1-4, 5-8”)
  • Then some pace work relating to the specific event....
  • And a little more easy swimming.

Warmups can vary from Senior Swimmers who take an hour or more, to eight and unders, who can warmup in 20 minutes in some cases. In every case, it’s important to be ON TIME. Typically an hour before the meet. This allows time for the physical and the mental work to be done. The coach will commonly hold a short meeting to make sure all swimmers are accounted for, organized, know their events, and get last minute reminders.

Being LATE to warmup means your child will be inadequately prepared for their competition. Not a good thing. You ask them and the coach asks them, to work hard to learn in practice every day. Then the day of the meet, you do things incorrectly. What does that teach the child?

Be On Time, Do Things Correctly. Have a Great Meet!

The Nature of a Judgment Call

Guy Edson, ASCA Staff

For nearly every decision regarding age group swimming development there is little or no scientific evidence for making a decision one way or another. How then can a decision be made and who is best suited to make that decision? In most cases, the coach is best suited to make decisions about age group swimming development. That is why a club hires a coach -- to coach and make decisions. Additionally, most clubs, through the Board of Directors, give the coach the authority to make decisions. This authority is usually expressed in a contract or in a written job description. Unfortunately, it is sometimes given only verbally and as Boards of Directors change unwritten authorities also change placing the coach in a difficult situation. It also needs to be pointed out that a coach needs the freedom to make an error in judgment on an occasion without fear that he will lose his job. People learn from making errors. John Kennedy said, "An error doesn't become a mistake unless you fail to correct it." Judgment errors rarely result in a long term effect of preventing an athlete from reaching their ultimate athletic goals.

Situation: A parent of a 10 year old wants their child to swim with the 12 year olds (who are doing 2000 - 3000 meters a day more than the 10 year olds). The parent points out that their 10 year old is faster than some of the 12 year olds? The coach disagrees. Although there is no evidence he is aware of that says it is bad for a 10 year old to do 5000 meters a day he still does not want a 10 year old doing 5000 meters a day. Why? Based upon his experience of coaching of age group swimmers, he feels that young swimmers need new challenges from season to season in order to stay motivated and need a steady progression of increased work load. He has seen young swimmers who do too much too soon drop out of the sport before they have a chance to reach their full potential. He has even seen it happen to swimmers in his programs early in his career when he gave up trying to educate a parent and allowed a swimmer into a group they should not have been in. He says it doesn't matter that they are capable of doing more work, what matters is they are given tomorrow at the expense of losing today and they lose the chance to be the leader of 10 year olds and all the fun of being with children their own age.

Why would a parent disagree? Each of you may have your own reasons but the reasons I hear most often are "My child wants to be with the older swimmers to do more work...my child wants to be a state champion...my child is bored in the 10 and under group." Two comments: I am always suspect of whether or not the child truly wants it or if they are just reflecting what Mom and Dad really want. Young swimmer's try so hard to please their parents. The second comment is, there is a difference between want and need.

How does a parent decide when a 9 year old should go to bed? Is there conclusive scientific evidence that says a 9 year old should go to bed at a specific time or sleep for a specific number of hours? There are probably guidelines written down somewhere but no definitive answers. The child WANTS to stay up until 10:00 but you, as the adult, make your judgment based upon what you feel are the child's NEEDS and your experience. Quite simply, this is a judgment call and the parent is best suited to make this decision.

Dr. Ken Low, director of Action Studies Institute, a think tank focused on adaptive intelligence, says that one of the most disturbing trends of the 80's was the stripping away of peoples freedom within institutions to make judgments. People are given rules and not allowed to use their own powers of reasoning to make exceptions when exceptions are due. We need coaches in this country to have the freedom and the Board-given authority to make judgment calls on age group development issues. This is how new ideas are formed. This is how programs progress into the future.

The Purpose of Travel Meets for Swim Teams

Many parents do not understand why coaches want athletes to travel to “away” meets, sometimes including overnight meets. There are several reasons, but one very large performance reason. Let me explain.

The key is to watch what your child does when they attend a local swim meet. The first thing they do, is go and get a… heat sheet… right? And then they scour the heat sheet for their own names and their position relative to their competitors. Because… they know who their competitors are… they see them meet after meet, after meet. And what goes on in our swimmer’s head (let’s call her Betsy) when she does the heat sheet scour…???

“Well, lets see. Suzie’s here, Mary is here, oh my gosh, Sarah is here, I can’t stand that girl… and she always beats me… and here’s Kelly, seeded below me, why would she put in that slow time? She usually beats me, so let’s see, I’ll be… fifth.”

Now, an hour or two later, and our heroine dives in the pool in the 100 free. With brilliant coaching and an even more impressive gene selection from Mom and Dad, she executes a perfect racing dive and streaks to the 25 turn wall, where she turns first, then sneaks a quick peek… “wow! I’m ahead.” Then pushes on towards the fifty wall… amazingly, our Betsy is still on the lead. Now, off the 50 wall, she is so amazed by her own performance she takes a slightly longer look at her no-longer-so-commanding lead, so she can reassure herself that she is still “out there.” By the 75 wall, her lead has shrunk to inches, as the other swimmers realize that the established pecking order is being disrupted and swim harder. Betsy, now wondering exactly what she will say to all these acquaintances of hers once she has beaten them, and “will they still like me anyway?,” begins to lose focus and slide back into her accustomed place in the pack. By the end of the race, she has creatively found a way to slide all the way back to 5th. She gets out happy to have led for awhile; she has that to talk about, but is happier that the natural order of finish in the kingdom of pre-adolescent girls has not been disrupted. In other words, she is comfortable once again.

Mom and Dad say, “dang, if only she was getting a little better coaching, she’d be beating all those girls.” Coach says, “doggone, with all those sprint genes from mom and dad, it’s hard to get her to finish a race big.”

And Betsy says “that wasn’t so bad, sort of fun, really. Now, where is Suzie, I really ought to go congratulate her.”

Now, after some of this, the smart coach will say to the parent group, “parent group, it is time to go to an out-of-town meet.”

“A what?”

“A meet out-of-town. You know, we get a bus, the kids all travel together, and we go as a team to another area and swim in a meet.”

“Isn’t that expensive?”

“Well, it will be about $20 a child for the bus, another $25 a child for Saturday night in a hotel, and maybe $50 for food, so all in all, just about a hundred dollars.”

“A hundred dollars! Heck, Betsy can’t beat the other girls here in our local area, what does she need to go to a meet like that for?”

Now the coach needs to know the answer… and here it is…

When Betsy swims against people she knows, she has pre-ordained expectations. And she finds ways to make those expectations come true. What she needs, is a chance for a breakthrough performance, to let her believe some new things about herself. So how does a travel meet do that?

Betsy reads the heat sheet… “yup, here I am, Betsy Worangle, 100 free, at 57.89, just a little slower than my best time… yep, I’m in here.” And then what?

She doesn’t know another name in the program. She has no idea where she fits in. So she does what? She just goes out and swims as fast as she can… no pre-conceived notions to live up to… just swim fast. Lo and behold, 56.44, 2nd place.

56.44 would have won at home. But Betsy could not get that out of herself when she had social and athletic expectations to live down to in the meet at home. On the road, she can just “go for it.” And she does. The tremendous advantages of swimming where you don’t know anyone.


This is another segment of News For SWIM PARENTS
Published by The American Club Swimming Association
5101 NW 21 Ave., Suite 200
Fort Lauderdale FL 33309

How Can You Help Your Swim Team

The first question really should be, "Why should I help the Swim Team?" I'm going to work on that one first, because in the five years since I wrote the first edition of "Parent, Coach, and Athlete", I have come to realize that the answer for many people is not clear, as I thought it was at that time. In learning this, I have also come to be much more appreciative of the clubs that I have coached with, because the question never came up at either of them!

The simplest reason is also the most powerful. You should help because your child benefits greatly from the program. The second reason is that most clubs cannot function without substantial volunteer help. The economics are not there for a full professional staff to do all the things that need doing.

Look at the finances of swimming for a moment. Nobody likes to pay bills. Now count up the hours that are available for your child to participate in your swimming program. Divide your monthly fee by those hours, and you will come out with substantially less than you pay your baby sitter. And the baby sitter doesn't provide much in the way of a learning situation, values education, physical exercise and development, or role model. (Or at least, not many baby sitters do!)

Now imagine if you had to pay for all you get from swim team. Teams can't do it without your help. Add to that the fact that less than 15% of the clubs in the USA have full time swimming coaches, and less than 5% have more than one full time coach, and you can begin to recognize the need for parental involvement. Those clubs that do enjoy full time coaches are usually those of sufficient size that just coaching duties alone take up the whole day.

The club needs your help. Now let's get along to how you can provide that help. People have strange attitudes toward working with organizations. In most, a very few people do a tremendous amount of work that benefits everyone. This is especially true in swimming, which perhaps speaks to the quality of person that swimming attracts. There are parents who develop workaholic behavior towards swim teams. This is a bad deal for everyone. That person sooner or later burns out, leaving a big hole to fill. Meanwhile, that individual holds a great deal of power in the club, according to the rule that says, "he that does, decides." (That unwritten rule operates in all volunteer organizations, doesn't it?)

The club needs a little bit of time from everyone, a little more from some, and on occasion, a great deal from a few. Note that when you find your lawn uncut, the dishes three days deep in the sink, your cat starving on the porch, and you have just driven home from swim team leaving half the car pool at the swimming pool, you are over committed. This may also result in your child thinking that your club job is more important than they are.

The simple goal of most swimming organizations is to devise a system where the coach is left free to do what they do best....to coach. This means that parents take responsibility for fund raising, administration, club communication, and similar items. Over the past five years there has been a trend to look at coaches more as a CEO (Chief Executive Officer) model, where they are involved in those things to the extent of making sure they are successful, but essentially the tasks are accomplished by parents. Having Coach involvement in those tasks is great, if they have time. If they don't, the idea is to use the volunteer talent available, in the areas where it can be most effectively deployed.

Most clubs have a Board of Directors that help operate the club. The best Boards are long range planning Boards, that leave the daily work to committees. New swimming parents are often asked to work on one of these committees. If you are not asked, volunteer. Many times people simply forget to ask...they are not slighting you, they are just so busy, they don't notice. This is also where you will begin to make new friends in swimming.

What kinds of jobs are available?
  • Fund raising...bring in the dollars to make up the difference between operating budget and club fees. There has never been an organization with enough operating funds, and swimming is no exception. Most of us are experts at spending and less expert at "raising" money, so if you have any ability here, you'll be extremely popular at the club. (Of course, if you have that ability, you are already extremely popular...)
  • Publicity...letting people know about the club, its goals, aims, results, and personal stories. A journalism background is helpful, but even more important is a willingness to organize results, type, and run them around town to local papers, TV and radio stations. It takes persistence, and the results are not automatically on display immediately.
  • Membership...allied to publicity, helping the club attract and retain members. This can be really rewarding for new parents, as they learn much more quickly about the good things in swimming while working on this type of group. Learn to swim programs provide the bulk of new swimmers to teams, and you'll be a source of information to prospective swimming families.
  • Administration...a general subheading for a vast array of jobs that include things like newsletters, meet entries, operating phone trees (to get news out quickly...usually about swimming, but sometimes gossip...that's a joke!) The amount of work required to operate a swim team is amazing, and most clubs like to have a system where one person performs a task while another learns it as an apprentice...and then takes it over later on. So, many jobs are "doubles".
  • Swim meets. There are those who run meets as part of the fund raising efforts, and there are clubs who run meets strictly as opportunities for swimmers to compete, and there are some who do both. Even with electronic timing and computers, it takes 30 - 45 people a day to run a good swim meet. You'll be called on plenty, and your help is vital. This is one time that money will not substitute for your physical presence.
Lastly, remember that a parent organization in its best role, is a watchdog of philosophy...that same philosophy that you joined the team for. Stability is what builds the organization, and your support for that stability is the key thing you can contribute. I like the thought of "bloom where you are planted." As your child progresses in swimming, stay with your club, and help it progress, Involve yourself in helping to set goals and objectives and make it great! And remember, it is all for FUN, and all for your youngster.

Working WITH the Coach

One of the major difficulties has to do with the working relationship between coach and parents. The ability of the coach to work with parents in a respectful and cooperative manner is often times an issue. This is especially true when parents, primarily age group parents, challenge the coaches' authority and ability to make judgments. Two other issues are the ability of the coach to educate parents as to the swimming needs of their children, and the administrative abilities of a coach to effectively delegate and lead a parent's group.

From our vantage point of "hearing it from all sides" we have developed this advice for parents.

  • Be educated. Read all you can about swimming but remember, that there are usually many different ways to teach a skill, or plan a season, or set a race strategy, etc.. Your coach may use tactics you have not read about and are not familiar with but are never-the-less absolutely sound. Some very gifted coaches may use techniques that aren't well documented but may be a superior method. Your coach may be a pioneer! We don't think that all coaches should coach using the same methods and are anxious to hear from coaches having success with new found methods.

Where do you find information? Subscribe to Swimming World or Swimming Technique Magazines, ask us for a International Swimming Hall of Fame Book List, and/or join ASCA as a non-coach member and receive the ASCA Magazine, ASCA Newsletter, and the Journal of Swimming Research.

  • Think before you ask. When you are concerned about a decision made by the coach it's fair to ask for an explanation but keep in mind two things. First, Ask for an explanation at the proper time. During swim practice or while the coach is on the deck during a swim meet are not good times to ask for explanations. It is better to wait for a quieter time and it is better to think through your questions before approaching the coach.

Secondly, it is reasonable for a coach to give an explanation by simply saying, "I had a feeling it would work best this way." It's called intuition, and it is one of the most important ways a coach makes a judgment call. Let's not take this away from coaches.

Situation: Relays. Who should be on the relay and what should the order be? You may think it should be the fastest four swimmers and since your daughter is the second fastest, she should go third.

However, there are so many factors that go into setting a relay line up that the guiding philosophy of the coach might simply be that he "enters the relay in the best interest of the team". There should never be a specific relay policy that will prevent your coach from using his judgment.

For example, the "fastest four" may not be the fastest four on THAT day; the order may depend on the suspected order of a rival team's relay; the coach may have an intuitive feeling that a given individual may perform faster than the "fastest four"; or the coach might feel that an individual needs the psychological boost of being on the "A" relay and in the long term, this is more beneficial for the team; etc..etc..

The point is, it is a coaches' call. He may make a judgment based on an intuitive feeling he has or other reasoning that you do not agree with or understand but it is within his area of authority to make the call and he needs the freedom to do it without undue critical challenges.

  • View the larger picture. There are three pictures, actually. One is the larger picture of the swimmer's swimming career. Early success (i.e. medals, ribbons, high point trophies, and national age group rankings) is not a requirement to career success. In fact, many times those successful early in their careers drop out before they have the opportunity to reach their full potential.

Coaches are usually very patient with a swimmer's progress because they are able to see the larger picture. Try not to mistake a coaches' calm patience with non-caring.

Larger picture number two: Did you ever see the pin that says "There's more to life than swimming"? We're hopeful that all coaches and parents remember that the most important experiences gained in an individual's swimming career have nothing to do with flip turns or butterfly stroke. Making friends, being part of a team, learning self-discipline, learning responsibility, setting goals, and working toward goals are far greater experiences than medals, ribbons, high point awards, and national rankings. (Just ask a retired swimmer!)

Larger Picture number three: The team! Remember that you and your child are part of the team and have an opportunity to contribute to team strength, team growth, and team unity.

  • Recognize the coaches' experience and education. This is understandably a very difficult task for many parents. Your children are precious and turning them over to a coach, who often times is a young coach, is unsettling. Coaches, however, have hours upon hours of experience working with young swimmers just like your child and will try to make their best judgments in the best interest of your child's long term swimming development. In addition, we're hopeful that your coach has attended clinics, frequently exchanges information with other coaches, and has taken ASCA's home study courses.

  • Try not to take it personally. All parents want to see their children be successful, however, some parents get too emotionally involved in their children's successes and setbacks. They love to win through their children, and they hate to lose. What needs to be remembered is that some children physically develop later than others, some children are more talented at playing piano than swimming, and some children simply do not like to swim. Whatever the reasons, your child may not be winning ribbons, or qualifying for zones, or beating all the other swimmers in his practice group. When this happens, remind yourself of the greater values of swim team participation such as fitness, friendships, fun, goal setting, and self-discipline.

  • Be aware of the overzealous, know-it-all, win at all costs, swim parent. There are usually a couple of parents in every club like this who continually challenge the judgment of the coach and the Board of Directors. Their opinions are based upon emotion, self serving interests, limited experience, and limited knowledge. Their motives are rarely in the interest of the team. They oftentimes try to gather support to change decisions and can wreck serious havoc in a program. What you can you do is support the coach and Board of Directors, and try to educate the parent. One of the greatest untapped resources for parent education are parents of former age group swimmers (now older senior swimmers or college swimmers.)

  • Remember all the different people a coach must work with. A coach must work with dozens of parents. Be sensitive to the fact that a coach is under tremendous pressure to please as many people as possible while making decisions he knows not everyone will be happy about. A little support from a friendly parent can make a coaches job far more pleasant than if he feels he is always alone.

The lesson for coaches and parents, simply stated, is that both groups need to try to communicate with each other with greater respect and understanding for each other's position. To strengthen the relationships between parents, coaches, and programs and to improve the chances for maintaining a long term relationship both coaches and parents need to work on this.

The Top Ten Questions Every Swimming Parent Wants to Know

PHOENIX, Arizona, August 30. TODAY, we are offering our online readers a free preview of some of the content that is available to Swimming World Magazine subscribers. In a never-before-published article, Wayne Goldsmith and Helen Morris present questions that every swimming parents has probably asked.
The Top Ten Questions Every Swimming Parent Wants to Know
By Wayne Goldsmith and Helen Morris

You see them every day. They are everywhere. At every pool. Every swim meet. Every school swimming practice.

There they are. Sitting at the side of the pool.

Watching every lap. Counting every breath. Analyzing every stroke. Studying every move you make.

Coaches? No.

Swimming media? Uh-uh.

Officials? No way.

Who are these people who go to the pool and watch you swim laps day after day after day? Who are these folk sitting there in the wind and rain for hours and hours watching you practice? Who are these strange humans who love nothing more than getting out of bed at 4 a.m. just to sit in the cold and watch you train?

Your Parents!
Ever wondered what they are thinking sitting there at the side of the pool studying every stroke and counting every kick?
They are desperate to find out the answers to these important questions..............................

1.How many training sessions should my child do each week?
There is no magic number of training sessions for every swimmer. Even at elite level, some swimmers swim 7 sessions a week, some do nine, others 11...there is no magic number.
It all comes down to the FLAG principle:

Fatigue – if a swimmer is swimming 3 sessions a week and as a result is always tired, irritable and their grades are falling, then doing more swimming does not make sense. So the optimal number of sessions for any individual swimmer is largely based on their ability to adapt to and recover from their training load.

Level of performance – training sessions should also be based on the level of performance being targeted. Chances are swimming two sessions a week will not get you selected on the next Olympic team and similarly 14 sessions a week is a little too much just to achieve a PB time at the under 9 state championships meet. As a broad benchmark, world class swimmers spend one day per week, i.e. 24 hours per week training and the rest of the time eating and sleeping so the higher you want to go, the harder you have to work.

Available time – if your child is in junior high, playing basketball, learning piano, doing special projects on weekends for extra credits, playing tennis and in the school choir...and......swimming five sessions each week, then it is safe to say, adding more swimming sessions is not going to do anything other than make them tired and fatigued. Keep in mind your child's total commitments across all areas of their life before adding more training time. And – never, ever forget that some days they need to just hang out with their friends, play and enjoy life. They are only kids once!

Goals – if your child sets high swimming goals, then naturally the time, effort and energy to achieve them must also be high. As a general rule, as kids progress through each level of swimming they need to add an extra pool session or gym workout to learn the skills, develop the fitness and build the technical abilities to be successful at the next level. For example (Note: this is a guide only):

Swimmer level/ Sessions per week
Water safety / Learn to swim - 1-2
Mini squads / School swimming programs - 2-3
District / Country Swimming Championships level - 3-4
State Swimming Championships level - 4-6
National Swimming Championships level - 6-8
International Swimming level - 8 plus

2.My child is 10 and is a great freestyler. What does she have to do to make it to the top?
The first thing to accept is that there is no such thing as a champion ten year old freestyler. Swimmers who experience success pre-teenage years generally do so because of accelerated growth, i.e. they are bigger and stronger than the other kids!
Another common situation is that as kids grow, change and develop, their ability to swim the competitive swimming strokes also changes – this year's backstroker could be next year's freestyler and then the following year they are great at swimming fly.
In the long term, the factors which determine success as a senior swimmer are the 5 Ps:

Perseverance – the ability to try and try and try and try – and to never give up;
Patience – it takes time to become a great swimmer – about ten years of consistent hard work;
Physical training – great swimmers are usually the best prepared. It takes a high level of physical fitness, technical development and skills refinement to make it to the top;
Personality – world class swimmers demonstrate some common personality traits – none the least being determination, commitment, the ability to overcome adversity and the capacity for accelerated learning;
Passion – Swimming is like anything else in life: you have to love it to do it well!

3.When should my child specialize in a stroke?
Kids need to grow into their specialist stroke! That is, when swimmers grow and develop physically and mentally, they will be naturally drawn to a particular stroke. It is common for a child's best stroke to change from year to year but once they hit middle to late teens, the nature of specific events will become more appealing. Real talent in any one stroke is harder to hide than it is to find! There is no need to encourage kids into one stroke or another – it will just happen!

4.Do swimmers need a special diet?
No. Not unless they have a medical problem or diet related condition that has been diagnosed by a nutrition professional. As a general rule, top swimmers follow a "4 MORE 4 LESS, 4 ME" diet:
More – complex carbohydrates like rice, bread, pasta.
More – lean quality protein like chicken, meat, fish.
More – water, fresh juices.
More – fresh fruit, nuts and vegetables.
Less – take away food.
Less – saturated fats and oils.
Less – processed and pre packaged foods.
Less – sodas.

Lots of parents want to know about supplements like vitamins, minerals and special substances like Creatine, Glucose and so on.

The five golden rules about these products are:
1.They may be of some use to some swimmers in some situations and on some occasions but consult a sports nutrition professional to help determine what might work for your child;
2.Nothing takes the place of consistent hard work, good technique and a great attitude;
3.If something sounds too good to be true, "Miracle Sports Performance Powder – Improves Endurance by up to 60 percent..." it probably is too good to be true!
4.Never introduce a new product – no matter what it is promising – within 7 days of an important meet. Many parents have fallen for the trap of giving kids a "special" breakfast or all new "miracle" supplement on the morning of a big meet only to find their kids spend more time in the toilet than in the pool.
5.Read rule 2 again – no supplement can turn mediocrity into magnificence. Teach kids to believe in themselves and to take responsibility for their own swimming performances rather than to rely on the promises of a supplement advertising campaign. (editor's note: As swimmers progress into the drug-testing parts of the sport, they are 100 percent liable for anything that goes into their bodies. Supplements, at least in the United States, are not regulated and can contain banned substances.

5.How do I find the best coach for my child?
The best swimming coaches demonstrate the FIVE Cs:
Calm – they remain calm and composed on and off deck and set a great example for the kids they coach;
Confident – they display a "humble confidence" – they believe in themselves and coach because they love coaching – not for any ego stroking reason;
Close – the pool where they coach is close to home or at least on the after school "route" – e.g. Pick up the kids from school, drop them to basketball practice, pick them up and take them to swimming, pick them up and drop them to music lessons.....
Caring – they are interested in kids becoming great human beings – not just fast swimmers.
Credible – they have the appropriate experience, qualifications and understanding of swimming.

There is an old saying in coaching..."kids don't care how much you know, they want to know how much you care!"

In swimming, this means asking the coach four questions:
Will you inspire a lifelong passion for the sport of swimming in my child?
Will you engage my child's heart and mind and respect them as an individual?
Will you teach my child the importance of swimming skills and technique?
Will you encourage my child to learn, be patient with them when they fail and above all help them to develop a real sense of self confidence and self belief?

Think about your own sporting career. Remember that coach who took a real interest in you as a human being and changed your life – whose lessons you still remember even now 20 years later? That's the type of coach you want to find for your kids!

6.School, swimming, social life.....what's the right balance for my child?
Your child is not a swimmer....they are a child first and foremost: a child who just happens to swim. But they are also a student, a brother or sister, a son or daughter, a member of a youth group, maybe someone who players another sport – they are a young person who has the potential to be anything they choose to be.

Kids are drawn to the things that:
1.They enjoy;
2.They have friends;
3.They are learning by because their hearts and minds are engaged in the activity.

So if your kids are having fun with their friends and love what they are doing, chances are the balance is right. If your kids start finding excuses not to train, don't want to get out of bed to go to the pool, show poor training habits and want to avoid going to meets, they are telling you, "mom and dad – the balance is not right and I want to change it". Listen to your kids.

7.What should I expect in terms of results at Meets?
You should expect to see:
Your child enjoying swimming with his / her friends;
Your child learning to love challenging him / herself and taking pleasure in competition;
Your child demonstrating all they have learned in terms of swimming technique, dives, starts, turns, finishes, underwater kicking.
Your child showing some self responsibility in their warm up, recovery, meet day nutrition and personal management.
Your child showing a sense of "team" by cheering for team mates and supporting other members of the squad.

In terms of results...expect nothing. Where kids are concerned....Medals are meaningless and times are tedious unless they are accompanied by LLL – a love of the sport, learning new skills and life lessons.

8.Does my child need to be doing strength training in the gym?
No. Not unless they have an injury or weakness or imbalance or other physical condition that has been identified by a professional sports physical therapist / medical practitioner.

The three key areas – what we call the "ABILITIES" of non-pool training to focus on are:
FLEX - ability: Improving their flexibility in important swimming muscles and muscle groups;
MOB – ability (mobility): Improving their mobility around joints;
STAR - ability (stability): Developing a strong stable "core" – abs, back muscles and important stabilizing muscles in their shoulders and hips.

Kids don't need to lift heavy weights – work on the "abilities", technique, skills, attitude and self confidence and leave the lifting to the Governor of California!

9.What can I do to be the best swimming parent I can be?
Give your child that which only you can give! Unconditional love, total support, compassion and unwavering belief in them as human beings. In the long term, whether your kids become world record holders in swimming, lawyers, doctors, teachers...it is not their talent that defines them or makes them successful – it is who they are. And no one helps kids to develop values, virtues and characteristics like their family. 6 feet tall 12 year old kids with large feet and strong muscles are great, but give me intelligent, honest, hard working kids with a real sense of self belief, courage and integrity any day! Develop the person first – then the swimming power!

10.My son is 11 years old and wants to play basketball two afternoons a week? Is playing other sports ok?
Yep! Pre-teen kids should be out enjoying life, being fit, learning skills and being active. Sure – once they get to mid – late teens and make the commitment to be a great swimmer, then some of their other activities will need to be cut back but at 11 the "more the merrier". A lot of sports have several cross over effects on swimming including:

Basketball – leg power, co-ordination, speed, endurance.
Gymnastics – balance, timing, flexibility, power, co-ordination.
Martial arts – balance, timing, flexibility, power, co-ordination, self confidence.
Running – aerobic fitness, leg strength.
Soccer – aerobic fitness, leg strength, co-ordination, speed.

Look at the obesity epidemic in kids in all developed nations. It would be great to have every kid in the world swimming laps, but just having them outside playing sport and moving their bodies instead of seeing them inside eating junk food while watching television has got to be good!

About Wayne and Helen:
Wayne is one of the world's leading experts in elite level swimming and high performance sport. Helen, is a former world class swimmer and a passionate campaigner for kids and adults learning to swim. To read more about Wayne and Helen visit their web site www.sportscoachingbrain.com and their new swim site www.swimcoachingbrain.com

Sticking With Swimming….What Can a Parent Do?

The Unfortunate Path that Many Swimmers Follow:

The swimmer’s career often starts with 8/under success and high parental enthusiasm. The child is encouraged by parents and others to excel and a big deal is made out of every accomplishment. As the child changes age groups and moves into the 9/10 group, even the most successful child may struggle because he or she has a harder time finding success against 10 year olds. What successes are achieved may not be as noticeable. Unfortunately, as many as one-third of the young swimmers and their families do not make it past this point.

By the time swimmers are10 or 11 years old they (or their parents) may realize that twice a week practices or summer only swimming is not enough to compete with others who are practicing more frequently. Physical ability and natural coordination can still help athlete to stay competitive and have success but it is getting harder to stay on top. More big changes and rude awakenings are lurking in the future.

The first Big Change: From 10/under to 11 & 12

  • Events become longer going from 25’s and 50's to 50's and 100's and even some 200's and distance freestyle events.
  • Competition changes from sprint competition to race/pace/competition.
  • In some programs, one half of the athletes and their families do not make this change. They never give the coaches or the program a chance to help the athlete adapt to the changing nature of swimming competition.

The second Big Change: From age 12 to 13&14/Senior swimming.

  • Events change again. Now it is all 100's & 200's along with 400/500 and 1000/1650.
  • The athlete must develop a work ethic and intensify the training aspect of swimming.
  • Physical changes affect both male and female athletes. Athletes get bigger and stronger, but many, especially the girls, may struggle to cope with their “new bodies.”
  • This can one of the most rewarding phases of an athlete’s career, yet many will give up.

The third Big Change: A focus on college swimming

  • Swimmers who remain in the sport start to look at the possibility of swimming in college.
  • Questions arise concerning the choice of colleges, the level of swimming, the possibilities of scholarships and the willingness to compete and train for another four years.

Let’s put these changes into “real” numbers:

Suppose a team has 12 Novice swimmers.

  • Only 8 will remain in swimming past the first Big Change
  • Only 4 will remain in swimming past the second Big Change.
  • Only 2 will remain in swimming past the third Big Change.

The Role of the Parent in Navigating the Big Changes:

Sometimes, unfortunately, it is the parents who are responsible for their child leaving the sport. For example:

  • Parents who are former athletes, especially former swimmers, may have unreasonably high expectations.

  • Parents believe that they are in charge of the athlete’s happiness and that only “winning” can bring happiness.

  • Parents believe that early success equates with long term success. The 8/under star will, of course, become an Olympian.

  • Parents may not understand the need for technical and skill development before “swimming fast.”

Parents must examine their own motives. Form a philosophy that emphasizes the process, not the outcome. Be the guides on the “fun path” not the “victory path.” When parents use these words, their emphasis is misplaced:

We - Beat - Win - Fast - Lost - Try - Only – My

What Can Parents Do to Reverse the Trend?

Parents must develop, progress and grow the just as athletes do. Experience is the key and communication is the mode. Swimmers already have coaches, friends and teammates. They need a parent to fill the parental role. “Coaches coach children, parents raise children. “

Here are some of the benefits your child will garner if he or she sticks with swimming:

Life Lessons: Only one swimmer can win the race. Does this mean everyone else is a loser? Of course not! Swimmers need to constantly be reminded that a top-notch effort on their part will result in personal satisfaction and a contribution to their team. Most USA Swimming clubs design a program of competitive training and competition for our younger swimmers based on long term development. Therefore, we may not stress early competitive success with a great deal of fanfare. Remember that swimmers under the age of 12 are very inconsistent which can be frustrating to a parent or to the swimmers themselves. Fun and patience are the keys here.

Leadership: In many cases, our team leaders and successful Senior swimmers were not outstanding age group swimmers. Those who “stick with it” often develop into outstanding leaders, having learned patience, dedication and commitment. Steady progress and understanding the meaning of various accomplishments will make a motivated, well adjusted Senior swimmer.

USA Swimming clubs go to great lengths to provide opportunities for all swimmers equally, although sometimes it may seem that more emphasis and time is spent on Senior swimming. An 8/under will swim no more than 45 minutes two or three times a week, while a Senior swimmer may be in the water 18 hours per week! Both swimmers are having their needs met as part of a long term progression. Understanding the long term benefits and the long term progression will help parents navigate the waters of a swimmer’s career. If you associate “time” with “attention”, the longer a swimmer stays with swimming the more attention he or she will receive.

The Coach Seems Harsh

“My child feels the coach is being excessively harsh on him. What can I, as a parent, do to help?”

Answered by: Coach Maureen Sheehan and Coach Mike Lawrence of the Lake Forest Swim Club, Lake Forest, Illinois.

Three very important relationships influence the success of any young swimmer’s career: The coach-athlete relationship, athlete-parent relationship. In any problem situation, it is crucial to maintain the integrity of all aspects of the parent-coach-athlete relationship. Often it is a breakdown in communication that leads to a problem. Striving to reestablish clear likes of communication is the key to maintaining good relationships and providing opportunities for successful swimming careers.

Parents are the most important role models in a child’s life. The way that a parent handles a difficult situation will serve as a role model for the child. Problems provide opportunities for parents to teach children how to work through difficulties. It is important for a parent not to over react to a situation. If the child sees a lack of respect or support for the coach from his/her most important role model, the child will probably act in a similar fashion. Non-support of a coach as an initial reaction may irreparably damage the coach-athlete relationship.

How do parents show support for both the coach and their child at the same time? Take the role of a listener; the child needs to clearly the situation. This description is how the child feels he/she is being treated but is not necessarily a reflection of the coach’s intent.

Ask your child questions to help him/her think clearly about what actually is the problem. It is important for you to help the child achieve an objective view of the situation. Ask the child why the conflict is a problem and how it can be solved. Give suggestions and guidance but try to let the child solve the problem or conflict without interference.

Parents cannot solve their children’s problems, but they do need to make a limited assessment of the situation that assures the child that mom/dad cares about them. Some very important but difficult learning experience takes place in youth athletic activities. Teaching a child about the relationship with the coach can go a long way towards easing problems in the future. Is the coach trying to encourage or motivate the child rather than pick on him/her? Is there something the child can do differently to encourage the coach to treat him/her in a specific way? What kind of treatment would be viewed as support?

Children need to learn to communicate with their coach at en early age. Encourage the child to ask questions and seek answers. This allows a child to learn about building strong relationships, in this case between the swimmer and the coach. A special meeting between the coach and the swimmer to discuss goals is an excellent step for the swimmer to initiate with the coach. This gives the coach an opportunity to let the athlete know what is expected of him/her and allows him/her to ask the coach for specific forms of support and encouragement. It is a chance for the coach and the athlete to determine a path they are going to take together.

If necessary a parents-coach meeting may be in order. These are best approached as discussions of how the child feels, which helps avoid possible conflicts over what was or was not said or done. Such discussions allow the parents and the coach to work together on a mutual goal!

Some dos and don’ts:

Do’s:

  • Listen; pay attention to your child’s feelings
  • Ask questions
  • Make a limited assessment
  • Try to help your child to work through this problem
  • Work to see this problem solved in a positive manner for all involved
  • Encourage your child to find his/her own answers
  • Relate this to another area in life to help it be a growing experience
  • Try to help build a positive image of the coach in the child’s mind
  • Support the coach
  • Support the child
  • Follow-up with your child

Don’t’s:

  • Overreact
  • Make this a family crisis or team issue
  • Create a situation that undermines your child’s respect for the coach.
  • Deal in comparisons with other swimmers
  • Limit the coach-athlete relationship for the future

Burnout Or Choice

Coach Garry Nelson of the Plantation Swim Team, in Plantation FL advocates a broader perspective on one of the most common self-criticisms of age group swimming.


The term "burnout" is widely used in the sport of swimming. Many swimmers quit swimming every year. Many coaches and parents believe it is caused by burnout. The Physician and Sportsmedicine in a recent article, described burnout as "loss of energy and enthusiasm for the sport but that it is not caused by anxiety and stress". Sure, all of us have known that certain parent or coach who puts excessive pressure on a child to win or set records. Most of those swimmers quit because they no longer can handle the pressure and need to get out and away from its cause. That is burnout.


At the Plantation Swim Team (Florida), we have approximately 30% to 35% turnover in our membership each year. I would think that our club is very close to the national average (Editor's note: U.S. Swimming Domestic Technical Director Bob Steele cites an average annual turnover of 33% of registered swimmers). People associated with swimming; group all of these swimmers as burnout. In fact, very few of these swimmers are really burnout cases.


There are hundreds of reasons why young people quit swimming. I believe that most swimmers who are no longer swimming quit because they are no longer improving as fast as they used to, and the results are no longer worth the time and commitment. Throughout my coaching experience, I know that I have had my fair share of swimmers leave the sport. Looking back, I can remember very few that I would consider in the burnout category. For example, if a swimmer is very successful as a young swimmer and has achieved success with limited commitment and a modest workload, when the swimmer begins to get older must increase his or her commitment to remain successful. The athlete may not want to put the required time into the sport. At that point they face a choice of working harder, scaling back their goals, or doing something else with their time. But that's not burnout, it is rather a choice.


Not every young person who has left swimming is a burn-out case. Most young people who have left our sport, have simply exercised their freedom of choice.


In conclusion, let's limit our use of the term burnout, which is giving swimming a bad name. Coaches should strive to make their programs more creative and appealing to minimize loss of interest. Parents and coaches should know when to make kids work and when to let them play and not be afraid to have some fun. The next time you use the term burnout to describe a swimmer who has quit the sport, think again. Maybe they didn't burn out; maybe they just chose to stop swimming.


This is another segment of News For SWIM PARENTS
Published by The American Club Swimming Association
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