By Dr. Alan Goldberg of competitivedge.com
PARENTS: DO YOU WANT YOUR CHILD TO FEEL AND PERFORM LIKE A WINNER?
If yes, then do the right thing here! Sit down with your child BEFORE they begin their competitive sports experience or RIGHT NOW and read together this PARENT – CHILD AGREEMENT, then sign it and commit to closely following its' principles. If you do, I can guarantee that your child will have a much more positive and happy experience with sports and you will have done everything in your power to really help them FEEL AND PERFORM LIKE A WINNER!
AS A PARENT, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU TO HAVE A HAPPY, GROWTHFUL EXPERIENCE IN COMPETITIVE SPORTS, I COMMIT TO THE FOLLOWING:
1) When you fail and make mistakes, when you are sad and disappointed, I will be there to support you and will NOT get angry, frustrated or disappointed.
2) I will help you understand that the only way to learn and grow as an athlete and as a person is by making ENOUGH mistakes and collecting ENOUGH failures/losses.
3) I will NEVER punish you for a bad performance or loss!
4) I understand that if I am to be truly helpful to you and insure that you have fun playing, I WILL NEVER COACH (Unless that is my actual role – which is a very difficult juggling act under the best of circumstances and you and I will set up guidelines that will make my role as coach clearer and you will always know when I am wearing my parent or coach's “hat.”).
5) Therefore, I agree to NOT give you pre-game talks about technique, strategies, the opponents and/or how important this competition is. I will NEVER force you to talk about the game ON THE CAR RIDE THERE or HOME. After the competition, I won't tell you all of the things that you did wrong and what you need to do to correct them because I understand that COACHING IS THE JOB OF THE COACH! Therefore, I will NOT grill you about practice and question whether you're working hard enough or not. I will be happy to talk about your game if you ask me, but I understand that I am not the coach!
6) I will be your “BEST FAN,” supporting you physically and emotionally, cheering for you and your mates, showing up at all of your contests and enjoying watching you play!
7) I will NOT criticize your coach and tell you all of the things I think he/she may be doing wrong. If I truly have a problem with anything that they are doing, I will deal with it appropriately by going directly to them at an agreed upon time!
8) I will NOT set goals for you or try to motivate you, especially since motivation is the job of the coach! I acknowledge that your sport belongs to YOU and therefore YOU need to set your own goals and play JUST FOR YOU, because YOU LOVE it!
9) I will not focus you on winning or on beating other opponents because I know that this will cause pressure and set you up to fail!
10) I will keep your sport in perspective for you AND ME because I am the adult, and I understand that this is just a game, and NEVER more important than my loving feelings for and relationship with you!
11) I will insure that you stay safe emotionally and physically and not let any coach hurt you in any way by their language, behavior or treatment.
12) I will never yell at you, your teammates, the coaches, refs or other parents at games and will never do anything to embarrass you. I will always try to conduct myself in a manner that will make you proud to call me your mom or dad.
13)I will always try to model and support good sportsmanship and fair play. I will cheer for great plays regardless of whether they are made by you, your teammates or the opponents!
14) If you would like me to practice with you on your own, in between competitions/games/practices, and you ask me, I will be delighted to. However, I will never force you to practice extra with me if you don't want to!
15) I will not compare you with other athletes nor go online and remind you of what your other opponents have accomplished or are doing training-wise.
16) I will not make you feel guilty for the time, money and energy we spend on you and your sport. We do this because that is what loving parents do, NO STRINGS ATTACHED! You do NOT owe us anything performance wise to “pay us back” for our “investment” in you.
17) I will always be open to feedback from you about what you need me to do or not do to help make this experience happy and fun for you. I will let you “COACH ME” in this way because above all else, I only want to be doing things that are helpful to you!
18) Finally, I will LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY in a way that has absolutely nothing to do with how well you perform in your sport!
SIGNED _________________________________________________
DATE _____________________________
